Click HERE To go to the Non Albums Tracks' lyrics of The Dresden Dolls

The Dresden Dolls

Good Day

So you don't want to hear about my good song
You don't want to hear about how I am getting on
With all the things that I can get done
The sun is in the sky and I am by my lonesome
So you don't want to hear about my good day
You have better things to do than to hear me say

God it's been a lovely day
Everything's going my way
I took out the trash today
And I'm on fire...

So you don't want to hear about my good friends
You don't have the guts to take the truth or consequence
Success is in the eye of the beholder
And it's looking even better over your cold shoulder

I'm not suggesting
You get and line me up for questioning
But Jesus think
About the bridges you are burning and I'm betting
That even though you knew it from the start
You'd rather be a bitch than be an ordinary broken heart

So go ahead and talk about your bad day
I want all the details of the pain and misery
That you are inflicting on the others
I consider them my sisters and I want their numbers

God it's been a lovely day
Everything's going my way
I took up croquet today
And I'm on fire

I picked up the pieces of my broken ego
I have finally made my peace as far as you and me go
But I'd love to have you up to see the place
I'd like to do more than survive
I'd like to rub it in your face, ha !

Hey it's been a lovely day
Everything's going my way
I had so much fun today
And I'm on fire

God it's been a lovely day
Everything's going my way
Ever since you went away
And I'm on fire

I'm on fire
I'm on fire
I'm on

I'm on fire
I'm on fire
I'm on fire
I'm on

So you don't want to hear about my good day

Girl Anachronism

One , two, three, four !

You can tell
From the scars on my arms
And cracks in my hips
And the dents in my car
And the blisters on my lips
That I'm not the carefullest of girls

You can tell
From the glass on the floor
And the strings that're breaking
And I keep on breaking more
And it looks like I am shaking
But it's just the temperature
And then again
If it were any colder I could disengage
If I were any older I could act my age
But I don't think that you'd believe me

It's not the way I'm meant to be
It's just the way the operation made me

And you can tell
From the state of my room
That they let me out too soon
And the pills that I ate
Came a couple years too late
And I've got some issues to work through
There I go again
Pretending to be you
Make-believing
That I have a soul beneath the surface
Trying to convince you
It was accidentally on purpose

I am not so serious
This passion is a plagiarism
I might join your century
But only on a rare occasion
I was taken out
Before the labor pains set in and now
Behold the world's worst accident
I am the girl anachronism

And you can tell
By the red in my eyes
And the bruises on my thighs
And the knots in my hair
And the bathtub full of flies
That I'm not right now at all
There I go again
Pretending that I'll fall
Don't call the doctors
They've seen it all before
They'll say just
Let her crash and burn
She'll learn
The attention just encourages her

And you can tell
From the full-body cast
That you're sorry that you asked
Though you did everything you could
Like any decent person would
But I might be catching so don't touch
You'll start believeing youre immune to gravity and stuff
Don't get me wet
Because the bandages will all come off

And you can tell
From the smoke at the stake
That the current state is critical
Well it is the little things, for instance
In the time it takes to break it she can make up ten excuses
Please excuse her for the day
Its just the way the medication makes her

I don't necessarily believe there is a cure for this
So I might join your century but only as a doubtful guest
I was too precarious removed as a caesarian
Behold the worlds worst accident
I am the girl anachronism
Behold the worlds worst accident
I am the girl anachronism
Behold the worlds worst accident
I am the girl anachronism
I am the girl anachronism

Missed Me

Missed me
Missed me
Now you've got to kiss me
If you kiss me, mister
I might tell my sister
If I tell her, mister
She might tell my mother
And my mother, mister
She might tell my father
And my father, mister
He won't be too happy
And he'll have his lawyer
Come up from the city
And arrest you, mister
So I wouldn't miss me
If you get me, mister, see ?

Missed me
Missed me
Now you've got to kiss me
If you kiss me, mister
You must think I'm pretty
If you think so, mister
You must want to fuck me
If you fuck me, mister
It must mean you love me
If you love me, mister
You would never leave me
It's as simple as can be !

Missed me
Missed me
Now you've got to kiss me
If you miss me, mister
Why do you keep leaving
If you trick me, mister
I will make you suffer
And they'll get you, mister
Put you in the slammer
And forget you, mister
Then you'll miss me
Won't you, won't you miss me
Won't you miss me
Won't you miss me

Missed me
Missed me
Now you've got to kiss me
If you kiss me, mister
Take responsibility
I'm fragile, mister
Just like any girl would be
And so misunderstood
So treat me delicately !

Missed me
Missed me
Now you've gone and done it
Hope you're happy
In the county penitentiary
It serves you right
For kissing little girls
But I'll visit
If you miss me
Say you miss me
'Cause the food they feed you
Do you miss me
Will you kiss me through the window
Do you miss me
Miss me
Will they ever let you go
I miss my mister so

Half Jack

Half underwater
I'm half my mother's daughter
A fraction's left up to dispute

Uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh.

The whole collection
Half off the price they're asking
In the halfway house, I will repute

Uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh.
Ah-ah, uh-oh (X3)
Ah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah.

Half accidental
Half pain full instrumental
I have a lot to think about

Uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh.
You think they're joking
You have to go provoke him
I guess it's high time you found out

Uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh.

It's half biology
And half corrective surgery gone wrong
You'll notice something funny
If you hang around here for too
Long ago in some black hole
Before they had these pills to take it back
I'm half Jill
And half Jack !

Uh-oh, Oh Oh! (x3)
Uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh.

Uh-oh , Oh Oh! (x3)
Uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh.

Two halves are equal
A cross between two evils
It's not an enviable lot

Uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh.
But if you listen
You'll learn to hear the difference
Between the halfs and the half nots

Uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh.

And when I let him in
I feel the stitches getting sicker
I try to wash him out
But like they say
The blood is thicker
I see my mother in my face
But only when I travel
I run as fast as I can run
But Jack comes tumbling after

And when I'm brave enough
And find a clever way to kick him out
And I'm so high not even you
And all your love could bring me down
On 83rd he never found
The magic words to change this fact
I'm half Jill
And half jack

Uh-oh , Oh Oh! (x3)
Uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh.

Uh-oh , Oh Oh! (x3)
Ah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah.

I'm halfway home now
Half hoping for a showdown
'Cause I'm not big enough to house this crowd

Uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh.

It might destroy me
But I'd sacrifice my body
If it meant I'd get the Jack part out

See (see) jack run (run)
Jack run (run) jack
See (see) jack see (see)
Jack (Jack) run (run) Jack
Run (run) Jack see (run)
Jack (jack) see (see) Jack (Jack)
Run (run) Jack (Jack) run (run)
Jack (Jack) see (see) Jack (Jack)
See (See) Jack (Jack) run (run)
Jack (Jack) run (run) Jack (Jack)

Run Jack run

672

Six hundred seventy two
Six hundred seventy two
Six hundred seventy two
Six hundred seventy two

Oh
Someday they will find out about you too

*** Thanx a lot to Jalen for this one ***

Coin-Operated Boy

Coin operated boy
Sitting on the shelf he is just a toy
But I turn him on and he comes to life
Automatic joy
That is why I want
A coin operated boy

Made of plastic and elastic
He is rugged and long-lasting
Who could ever ever ask for more
Love without complications galore

Many shapes and weights to choose from
I will never leave my bedroom
I will never cry at night again
Wrap my arms around him and pretend

Coin operated boy
All the other real ones that I destroy
Cannot hold a candle to my new boy
And I'll never let him go
And I'll never be alone
And I'll never let him go
And I'll never be alone, go
And I'll never be alone, go
And I'll never be alone, go
And I'll never be alone, go
And I'll never be alone
Not with my coin operated boy

This bridge was written to make you feel smittener
With my sad picture of girl getting bitterer
Can you extract me from my plastic fantasy
I didn't think so but I'm still convinceable
Will you persist even after I bet you
A billion dollars that I'll never love you
And will you persist even after I kiss you
Goodbye for the last time
Will you keep on trying
To prove it
I'm dying
To lose it
I'm losing
My confidence
I want it
I want it
I want it
I want it
I want to
I want to
I want to
I want to
I want you
I want you
I want you
I want you
I want a
I want a
I want a
I
Want
A
Coin operated boy

And if I had a star to wish on
For my life I can't imagine
Any flesh and blood could be his match
I can even take him in the bath

Coin operated boy
He may not be real
Experienced with girls
But I know he feels
Like a boy should feel
Isn't that the point
That is why I want a
Coin operated boy
With a pretty coin operated voice
Saying that he loves me
That he's thinking of me
Straight and to the point
That is why I want
A coin operated boy

Gravity

Gravity plays favorites I know it cause I saw
Honest to God, Officer, it's awful
Down at work I'm getting too familiar with the floor
Trading in my talents by the mouthful

Hate to break it to you but it's out of my control
Forces go to work while we are sleeping, sleeping
If I could attack with a more sensible approach
Obviously that's what I'd be doing
Right

Now
Necks are cracking sideways
Hit me from the back side
I am on the white side
You are on the black side
Cut a piece that's bite size
Shoot me from my good side
If you got a straight line
This would be a good time

Gravity works slowly if you notice it at all
Some of us are getting mighty lucky
Aren't we
If you had to live with this you'd rather lie than fall
You think I can't fly
Well you just watch me, watch me

...

Necks are cracking sideways
Hit me from the back side
I am on the thin side
You are on the fat side
Cut a piece thats bite size
Shoot me from my bad side
If you got a straight line
This would be a good time

The sky is always falling down on me
The sky is always falling, falling, oh
The sky is always falling down on me
So Officer
Forgive me please !

Bad Habit

Biting keeps your words at bay
Tending to the sores that stay
Happiness is just a gash away
When I open a familiar scar
Pain goes shooting like a star
Comfort hasn't failed to follow so far

And you might say it's self-indulgent
You might say its self-destructive
But, you see, it's more productive
Than if I were to be healthy

And pens and penknives take the blame
Crane my neck and scratch my name
But the ugly marks
Are worth the momentary gain
When I jab a sharpened object in
Choirs of angels seem to sing
Hymns of hate in memorandum

And you might say it's self-indulgent
And you might say it's self-destructive
But, you see, it's more productive
Than if I were to be happy

And sappy songs about sex and cheating
Bland accounts of two lovers meeting
Make me want to give mankind a beating

And you might say it's self-destructive
But, you see, I'd kick the bucket
Sixty times before I'd kick the habit

And as the skin rips off
I cherish the revolting thought
That even if I quit
There's not a chance in hell I'd stop
And anyone can see the signs
Mittens in the summertime
Thank you for your pity
You are too kind

And you might say it's self-inflicted
But you see that's contradictive
Why on earth would anyone practice self destruction

And pain opinions are sitcom feeding
They don't know that their minds are teething
Makes me want to give mankind a beating

I've tried bandages and sinking
I've tried gloves and even thinking
I've tried vaseline
I've tried everything
And no-one cares if your back is bleeding
They're too concerned with their hair receding
Looking back it was all maltreating
Every thought that occurred misleading

Makes me want to give myself a beating

The Perfect Fit

I could make a dress
A robe fit for a prince
I could clothe a continent
But I can't sew a stitch

I can paint my face
And stand very very still
It's not very practical
But it still pays the bills

I can't change my name
But I could be your type
I can dance and win at games
Like backgammon and life

I used to be the smart one
Sharp as a tack
Funny how that skipping years ahead
Has held me back

I used to be the bright one
Top in my class
Funny what they give you when you
Just learn how to ask

I can write a song
But I can't sing in key
I can play piano
But I never learned to read

I can't trap a mouse
But I can pet a cat
No I'm really serious
I'm really very good at that

I can't fix a car
But I can fix a flat
I could fix a lot of things
But I'd rather not get into that

I used to be the bright one
Smart as a whip
Funny how you slip so far
When  teachers don't keep track of it

I used to be the tight one
The perfect fit
Funny how those compliments can
Make you feel so full of it

I can shuffle, cut and deal
But I can't draw a hand
I can't draw a lot of things
I hope you understand
I'm not exceptionally shy
But I've never had a man
That I could look straight in the eye
And tell my secret plans

I can take a vow
And I can wear a ring
And I can make you promises
But they won't mean a thing

Can't you just do it for me
I'll pay you well
Fuck I'll pay you anything
If you could end this

Can't you just fix it for me
It's gone berserk
Oh fuck, I'll give you anything
If you can make the damn thing work

Can't you just fix it for me
I'll pay you well
Oh fuck, I'll pay you anything
If you can end this hell

Hello, I love you
Will you tell me your name
Hello, I'm good for nothing
Will you love me just the same
The same

The Jeep Song

I've been driving around town
With my head spinning around
Everywhere I look I see
Your '96 Jeep Cherokee

You're a bully and a clown
You made me cry and put me down
After all that I've been through
You'd think I'd hate the sight of you

But with every jeep I see
My broken heart still skips a beat
I guess it's just my stupid luck
That all of Boston drives
The same black fucking truck

It could be him
Or am I tripping
And I'm crashing
Into everything
And thinking about
Skipping town awhile
Until these cars go out of style

I try to see it in reverse
It makes the situation hundreds of times worse
When I wonder if it makes you want to cry
Every time you see a light blue Volvo driving by

So don't tell me if you're off to see the world
I know you won't get very far
But don't tell me if you get another girl
Baby, just tell me if you get another car

The number of them is insane
Every exit's an ex-boyfriend memory lane
Every major street's a minor heart attack
I see a red jeep and I want to paint it black

It could be him
Or am I tripping
And I'm crashing
Into everything
I can't wait 'til you trade the damn thing in
By then they will have put me in the loony bin

It could be him
My heart is pounding
It's just no use
I'm surrounded
But one day I'll steal your car and switch the gears
And drive that Cherokee right off the trail of tears

Slide

A late april day and it's sunny outside
And a red little girl's at the top of a slide
And an an orange old man at the bottom
Wants to take her for a ride

As she slips and she tumbles the orange man mumbles
Pennies crash down from the sky
And he tells her he'll take her away where it's safe
And of course it is a lie

She's a third the way down and her skirts are yanked up
And her little girl cheeks start to wrinkle
But her smile is wide and her legs are spread wider
Her hair growing long
And her hips
Getting larger
Past
Getting brighter
Light
Growing weaker

She is halfway down now but the man is impatient
Shakes change in his pocket he might have to wait
But she's coming
She's coming
She's coming

Who are you blaming
They're just playing
That's a good one
Who left the playground
A good decade
Before the bell rang

As she starts to draw nearer his view becomes clearer
The splinters are painful but she doesn't feel it
The pennies were loaded and as they exploded
She starts to spin out of control

Her eyes are now closing
Her sleeves are unrolling
Up past her head
And her veins are all showing
Not that she noticed
She's thoroughly focused on
One old man who's laughing
Who's laughing
Who's laughing

Don't worry, I've got you
Don't worry, I've got you
Don't worry, I've got you
Don't worry, I've got you
The orangeman got you

A late april day and it's sunny outside
And a red little girl's at the top of a slide
And an orange old man at the bottom
Wants to take her for a ride

Truce

You can have Washington
I'll take New Jersey
You can have London
But I want New York City

I should get providence
I've got a job now
Los Angeles, obvious
That's where you belong now

You can have Africa
Asia, Australia
As long as you keep your hands off
Cafe Pamplona

We can split Germany
Right down the middle
You'd hate it there anyway
Take Berlin
And we'll call it even

You can have all of the carry-on baggage
I'll trade the saskia jokes for the alphabet language

And special occasions we'll split between parents
Who forced us to hate them on alternating weekends

You call it over and I call you psycho
Significant other
Just say we were lovers and we'll call it even
We'll call it even

I am the ground zero ex-friend you ordered
Disguised as a hero to get past your borders
I know when I'm wanted
I'll leave if you ask me to
Mind my own business
And speak when I'm spoken to

I am the tower around which you orbited
I am not proud I am just taking orders
I fall to the ground within hours of impact
I hit back when hit
And attack when attacked

You get route two between Concord and Lexington
I want Mass Ave. from the square to my apartment

And if we should meet through some misunderstanding
I'll be very sweet very patient and forgiving
Now get off my side of the state

And if we should see one another in passing
Despite these techniques
There is sometimes no avoiding
There must be some kind of mistake

We'll raise high the white flags
And bow heads and shake hands
Declaring the land we're on unamerican
We'll call it even
We'll call it even

I am the tower around which you orbited
I am not proud I am just taking orders
I fall to the groud within hours of impact
I hit back when hit
And attack when attacked

I am an accident waiting to happen
I'm laughing like mad if you strangle the captain
My place may be taken, but make no mistake
From a little black box
I can say without shame
That you've lost
That you've lost
Do you know what you've lost

So take whatever you'd like
I'll strike like the States on fire
You won't sleep very tight
No hiding, no safe cover
Make your bed now lie
Just like you always do
You can fake it for the papers
But I'm on to you
I'm on to you

So take whatever you'd like
I'll strike like the States on fire
You won't sleep very tight
No hiding, no safe covers
Make your bed and now lie
Just like you always do
You can fake it for the papers
But I'm on to you
I'm on to you
I'm on to you
I'm on to you

A is for accident

The time has come

The time has come
To speak of many things
Of jacks and queens and kings

I bared my wrists
And promised to begin
But you cut the blade straight in

Try hard my love
Do you hear the distant strings
Please remember what this means

Did I come back for all of this
It seems absurd somehow
With one well-placed flick of the wrist
You've really done it now

All of my blind ambition left me deaf with perfect vision

The time has come
For things to come undone
We should not have begun

At last
I felt
A numbness overcome
And now you turn and run

The time has come
To take me in your arms
And touch these fragile scars

You have the choice now so decide
If you want in or out
There is too much left for us to try
You can't just give up now

The time has come
To speak of many things
Of jacks and queens and kings

It took that cut
To bring me back to life
They're bleeding and they're frightened still I hold out both my hands
No one in the world will ever touch me there again

Mrs O

Oh Mrs. O
Will you tell us where the naughty children go
Will you show
How the sky turned white and everybody froze
Heaven knows
How they got into the fireplace
But everybody's saying grace
And trying to keep a happy face

And Oh Mrs. O
Can you teach us
How to keep from getting cold
Out we go
And you watch us as we face the falling snow
What a show
With our hairdryers aimed heavenwards
And fifty foot extension cords
You really have a way with words

The truth can't save you now
Ah ah ah
The sky is falling down
Oh oh oh

Watch the vultures
Count the hours
April trains may
Bring strange showers

And Oh Mrs. O
Will you tell about the time they made you go
All alone to the palace where they took your only clothes
We all know
There's no hell and no Hiroshima
Chernobyl was a cover up
The world is really all in love

And Oh Mrs. O
Will you leave us hanging now that we are grown
Up and old
Will you kill me if I say I told you so
We all know
Ther'es no Hitler and no holocaust
No winter and no Santa Claus
And yes Virginia all because

The truth can't save you now
Ah ah ah
The sky is falling down
Oh oh oh
Everything they ever told us
Shakes our faith and
Breaks their promise
But you can stop the truth
From leaking
If you never stop believing

Christopher Lydon

Clutching the phone 'til my hands were sore
I never understood pain before, Christopher
You cannot know what it does to me
Hearing you speak with this frequency

I never knew what one voice could do
I was in heaven the moment I heard you
My friends go out drinking and having fun
I stay in bed with my headphones on

Shot down with arrows from waves above
Christopher Lydon renounced my love

It took so long to get through to you
I never understood sorrow, and now I do
I finally got past your moniter
And you broke my heart in two, Christopher

Christopher, I was your listener, Christopher
I've never felt love like this before, Christopher
Christopher, now and forevermore, Christopher
I'll never stop saying Christopher, Christopher

Finally I knew what I had to do
I had to make the connection with you
I don't care if you're old and incontinence
I will be yours 'til the bitter end

So during a show about Joan of Arc
I got through and said
"Christopher Lydon, you've stolen my heart"
When I asked if you felt the same way for me
You cut me off like a guillotine

Drawn like a bull to a matador
I just see visions of christopher
Shot down with arrows from waves above
Christopher Lydon renounced my love

Christopher, I was your prisoner, Christopher
I hope you're happy now Chistopher
Thank you for everything
But I'm not listening anymore
Nor do I plan to contribute to npr
Christopher, beautiful Christopher
What do you take me for

Glass slipper

No one's asking
To go dancing
It's not like that anymore
It's romantic
If they mean it
When they shut your fingers in the door

It's a gory
Sort of story
That's been told a hundred times before
It gets tricky
Don't be picky
If the slipper fits you wear it whore

How many tips
 Can I take home tonight
Without them getting mad
How many stitches
Do you think it takes
To fix a cut that bad
How many minutes
Until midnight
And you get your eyesight back

Not to knock it
I've been off it
Never moving very much at once

It's been awkward
I still offer it
When it's that time of
Other girls shower
But I give out flowers
To curious strangers
Who throw dollars at my feet

How many crimes
Can I try spotting dry
Before it leaves a stain
How many times say
That I love you
'Til it doesn't mean a thing
How many fittings
Must I sit through
With my big feet blistering
How many times
Until it strips me
And my big mouth strikes again

I'm not asking
To go dancing
I'm not that dumb anymore
It's exhausting
To keep smiling
When your toes are bleeding on the floor

It's a gory
Sort of story
That's been told a hundred times before
Don't be sorry
Just ignore me
Because honestly I'm
Too sore from fitting
Exactly to ride
Into setting
Suns aching
To stand on my own two feet

How many wishes
Do I still have left
To fix the way it ends
How many princes
Do you think it take
To put a girl like this
Back together again

How many instances
Can you point out
When I was less than kind
How many happy endings
Do you need
To change your fucking mind
And how much time
Do we have left
Before it's midnight
And you see that I was
Never the right size

Thirty whacks

Thirty licks with a belt
Playing tricks on myself
And I wonder if everyone else is this way
A succession of tests a triumphant success
Each time i'm still intact
At the end of the day

Thirty drops in a glass
Keep my temper and pass
With my breath held you bastards
You bastards
You've lucked out again
It's not really so bad
There’s still mom there’s still
Damage to do before they wrest the axe from my heads

It's no mystery
You should obviously go
Before I break everything
You’re always telling me
That you're dying to know
But you’re not really listening

How do I manage to station myself in harms way
And only get hit with a ticket for loitering
That I have no means to pay
And no strength to argue
My personal demons can scheme with professional care
Oh God they're after me
If I could shut them up
Just for an hour I swear
I could stop this catastrophe

Thirty day guarantee
But they can't have meant me
After all I was born to a childproof world
No sharp corners or glass
No small objects or plastic bags
Please, these are death to a delicate girl

It's no mystery
You should obviously know
That I’ll destroy everything
So don't go telling me that you're dying to know
'Cause you’ll get what you're asking for

And I still manage to station myself in harms way
And only get hit with a ticket for loitering
Stating I came the wrong day
Now all the demons are screaming their wages aren't fair
I've held a secret kept
If I could shut them out
Just for a second I swear
It’ll look like an accident
I could be decent yet
Be magnificient
I could be president

*** Thanx a lot to Jeremy & Matt & Kizeesh who corrected some mistakes ***

Bank of boston beauty queen

I've tried dolls that were guaranteed sixteen
Or under none were very exciting
Sorta like a laugh track or whacking off they’ll get you off
But it’s just not the real thing

But It's been decades since my pit days
But I havent shaken it, I sit there like an idiot
Still caught up in the old punk protocol
And dreaming that the teenagers will think that I’m a radical

And I still wait for the bus to come
Where high school got torn down
Still expecting to find true love
Among the skateboarders hanging out
In back of the bank in my hometown

All this talk and no action’s got me stiff from the tit to the bone
So I'm living in lala land
But at least I'm not living at home
Same old catcall same old chemicals
Same old thrills
Stealing stockings from the shopping mall
It's simple enough to grow the fuck up happy with the rough cut
Nobody's in the market for a diamond in the rough

But I still wait for my mom to come
And pick me up at Holly’s house
Ten years after they cashed it in
To make a multi-level parking lot for a seven-eleven and Burger King

I’ve got cryptographs I’ve got all the phones tapped
I’ve got proof enough it is indisputable
Love’s not good enough I want pies and graphs
Something that will teach me my arithmetic at last

Better get your kids in
I’m on the loose again
And getting more ridiculous the more I think I ought to get my mind out of the gutter
It’s getting dangerous, Amanda, God
You’re old enough to be his fucking
My own private highway from the cradle to the grave
I save a bundle skipping middle age and saturdays

And I still wait for the cops to come
Where the station since burned down
Still expecting that they’ll pick me up
For all the sins I committed
In the back of the banged-up pickup truck

I’ve got autographs, backstage passes
And leather jacket back patches up the
Ask me anything I want evidence
Single serving saccharine packets dripping black with lipstick kisses

I still wait for the bus to come back where the high school got torn down
Still expecting to find true love among the sakteboarders hanging out
In back of the bank in my home

I’m no pederast it was nice to ask
Thank you but I’m capable
Of getting up and getting dressed
Love’s not good enough I want photographs
Something that will teach me come inside
Time and time again
I think I'll head downtown again
Oh God
I’m sixteen
No, I’m ten
I’m seventeen
And a bank of Boston beauty queen

But I'm...

Will

I won't try to explain
What I cannot understand
It's a bird, it's a plane
It's a one night stand
If only we could ride far enough
I'd forget you altogether
It's a bluff
There is no way
I could not remember

Don't ask me what I came here for
It is too delicate for words
I used to want to make you talk
Now I would rather you did not

I don't mind
If you read
While I'm coming, it's alright
If you need the T.V.
To keep from noticing my mind
Going blank
What's the worst thing
That could happen is my back
All that bad
Strike the match
And watch the doll come open

Don't ask me what I want from you
It is not something you could purposely do
I used to want to make you mine
Now I have better things in mind

Stand by your man

( Tammy Wynett Cover )

Sometimes its hard to be a woman
Giving all your love to just one man
You'll have bad times
And he'll have good times
Doing things that you don't understand

But if you love him you'll forgive him
Even though he's hard to understand
And if you love him
Oh be proud of him
'Cause after all he's just a man

Stand by your man
Give him two arms to cling to
And something warm to come to
When nights are cold and lonely

Stand by your man
And tell the world you love him
Keep giving all the love you can
Stand by your man

Stand by your man
And show the world you love him
Keep giving all the love you can
Stand by your man

Yes, Virginia

Sex changes

Dear Mr. and/or Mrs. Sender
We're pleased to inform you that your applications been accepted
Starting from the time you get this letter
Your life will be one never-ending “hope you're feeling better”
You get your choice of an aesthetic
We'll need to chop your clock off (tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock)
It might not be what you expected
There is no money back once you've been ripped off, ripped off, ripped off

Today's a very special day
The boys'll murder for it but what will the neighbors say
It leaves you feeling pretty hollow
It might be nice to look at
Don't forget you're stuck with it tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow

You're big enough to stop pretending
You'll start to really show within a week or so
So don't go saying it's just come to your attention
You'll get more than you're asking for without the right protection

Today's a very special day
And how you'd love to have a little thing with which to play
But love wont get you very far
Today be still your beating heart
You'll have to keep on feeding it tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow
Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow

Boys will be boys will be boys will be boys will be boys will be boys
Will be girls with no warning girls will be girls will be guys
Will be boys that don't cry over toys that they use to beat girls they despise by the morning
They always said that sex would change you, change you, change you, change you

No second thoughts the knife is nearing
You'll never hear the little pitter patter pitter patter
Of this little feat of engineering
Of course I love you and of course it's what's inside that matters
But I think the whole charade is ending
It seems to me to be the only way to keep from getting
Caught up in a long life of regretting
The doctors said that once you get a taste for it you'll keep on cutting

But while you happen to be here
Why don't you whisper all those sweet forevers in my ear
Stiff upper lip for all this sorrow
Hurry up and stick it in
You never when it will end
Tomorrow or tomorrow or tomorrow
Tomorrow or tomorrow or tomorrow
Tomorrow or tomorrow or tomorrow
Tomorrow or tomorrow or tomorrow
They always said that sex would change you, change you, change you, change you

Backstabber

The record goes from blue to gold
So thank you for all your help
I know you want to jump around
But try to contain yourself

You always struck me as the type to take it lightly
But now you're gonna have to shut your mouth and fight me

Oh backstabber
Backstabber

You're all alone
You're all over the popular magazines
Will never care what do you care
You're down with the japanese

But you've got no right to sit there saying I abuse it
When you only sleep with girls who say they like your music

Oh backstabber
Backstabber, backstabber...

Backstabber! Hope grabber!
Greedy little fit haver!
God I feel for you fool
You Shit lover! Off-brusher!
Jaded bitter joy crusher!
Failure has made you so cruel, you

Rotten to the core
Rotten to the core

Rotten like a crackwhore
Begging out the backdoor
Show us what you're good for
Post it on the noise board
Come on join the bloodsport
Show us some support
Still working at the drugstore
Is it because you're
A fucking

Backstabber! Hope grabber!
Greedy little fit haver!
God I feel for you fool
You Shit lover! Off-brusher!
Jaded bitter joy crusher!
Failure has made you so cruel

So don't tell me what to write
And don't tell me that i'm wrong
And don't tell me not to reference my songs within my songs

Oh oh You backstabber! Hope grabber!
Backstabber greedy fucking fit haver!
Backstabber!

Modern Moolight

Presenting modern moonlight just as advertised
Coke and Pepsi finally found a compromise
How can they complain that we're all fucked up kids
When they keep on changing who our mother is?

Like it all you want it's fruitless
Night is in the way of progress

Retinas are bleeding for the enterprise
Surgically wired into paradise
Yesterday I dropped in at the mkb
Everyone was messaging like it was going out of style
It was just the cynic in me
God, I love communicating!
I just hate the shit we're missing

Everybody join in the magnificence
Yes! Everything is absolutely making sense
Every time you turn around your soul gets sold
To the highest bidder
Then they turn around and merger and they merger
And the merger and they murder and they murder
The one who murders most will take it all

Fight it all you want it's useless
Night is in the way of progress

We're gonna take your cities one by one
Catch your cables cut your cords and spoil all your fun
We're gonna make your lite a living hell
Cause stripped of your equipment you'll be forced to face yourself…

Wire cutters of the world
You know what to use it for
Spread the word to all the tightrope walker boys and girls
Brace yourself for miracles
You're in for a nasty shock
When the war is over
You can read the paper
When the war is over
You can read the paper

My Alcoholic Friends

I'm counting back
The number of the stops
It took for me to get
Back on the wagon of the weekend

I'll use the autotimer to prove that
I'll get home with my imagination
If they find the body in the basement
"In the very house that she was raised in"

I'm taking down
The number of the Times
So when we get the sign
From God I'll be the first to call them

I'm taking back the number of the beast
'Cause six is not a pretty number
Eight or three are definitely better
A is for the address on the letter
To my alcoholic friends

I'm trying hard
Not to be ashamed
Not to know the name
Of who is waking up beside me
Or the date, the season or the city
But at least the ceiling's very pretty
And if you are holding it against me

I'll be on my best behavior
Taking shots for mother nature
Once my fist is in the cupboard
Love is never falling over

One, two, three, four

Should I choose a noble occupation
If I did I'd only show up late and
Sick and they would stare at me with hatred
Plus my only natural talent's wasted on my alcoholic friends
My alcoholic friends
The party never ends

*** Thanx a lot to Seth & Sean for this one ***

Delilah

There's no end to the love you can give
When you change your point of view to underfoot very good
You may be flat but you're breathing

And there's no doubt he's at home in his room
Probably watching porn of you from the fall
It's last call and you're the last one leaving

And you thought you could change the world
By opening your legs
Well it isn't very hard
Try kicking them instead
And you thought you could change his mind
By changing your perfume to the kind his mother wore
Oh God Delilah why?
I never met a more impossible girl

In this same bar where you slammed down your hand
And said “Amanda, I'm in love”, no you're not
You're just a sucker for the ones who use you
And it doesn't matter what I say or do
The stupid bastard's gonna have his way with you

You're an unrescuable schizo
Or else you're on the rag
If you take him back
I'm gonna lose my nerve
I never met a more impossible girl

At four o'clock he got off and you called up
“I'm down at Denny's on route one
And you won't guess what he's done”
Is that a fact Delilah?
Larry tap let you in through the back
And use his calling card again
For a quick hand of gin

You are impossible, Delilah, the princess of denial
And after seven years in advertising you are none the wiser

You're an unrescuable schizo
Or else you're on the rag
'Cause if you take him back
I'm gonna lose my nerve
He's gonna beat you like a pillow
You schizos never learn
And if you take him home
You'll get what you deserve

So don't cry Delilah
You're still alive Delilah
You need a ride Delilah
Let's see how fast this thing can go
Let's see how fast this thing can go
Let's see how fast this thing can go

Dirty Business

Raise your glass
We have incorporated
Place your bets
We're all so sick of waiting
Queen takes jack
You got me this time but I'll get you back
So pick a number

To all the ones who tried the most
Was I supposed to cheer your efforts
Sorry that I chose so poorly
Golly gee am I the poster girl

She's the kind of girl who looks for love in all the lonely places
The kind who comes to poker pockets stuffed with kings and aces
She's the kind of girl who only asks you over when its raining
Just to make you lie there catching water dripping from the ceiling

Lift your hats
Off to the checkout girls with tattooed backs
They'd make an angels skin crawl
If you ask them for assistance
There's an even chance
You'll get a number

To all the girls at pearl the surly boys who get to masticate them
I've a prize for each and every one of you so just be patient

To all the ones that hated me the most a toast
You really had me
Going for a second I was nervous
Boy am I the poster girl

She's the kind of girl who gets her slings and arrows from the dumpster
The kind who tell you she's bipolar just to make you trust her
She's the kind of girl who leaves out condoms on the bedroom dresser
Just to make you jealous of the men she fucked before you met her

To all the ones who thought they knew me best a test to prove your prowess
Who was mine in Ninety-nine I want last names and current status
To all the ones who hated me the most a toast you really had me going for second
I was nervous boy am I the poster girl

For some suburban sickness
Better keep a healthy distance
Now its up to you know what to do
It's pretty dirty business

First Orgasm

It is a Thursday
I get up early
It is a challenge
I'm usually lazy

I make some coffee
I eat some rice chex
And then I sit down
To check my inbox

I only read a word or two
I stare across the street and see the churches and the blue

The first orgasm of the morning
Is cold and hard as hell
There won't be any second coming
As far as I can tell

I arch my back cause
I'm very close now
It's very cold here
By the window

There are some school kids
Yelling and running
I barely notice
That I am cumming

The first orgasm of the morning
Is like a fire drill
It's nice to have a little warning
But not enjoyable

I am too busy to have friends
A lover would just complicate my plans
So I will never look for love again
I'm taking matters into my own hands

I think I could last at least a week without someone to hold me
I think I could last at least a week without someone to hold me
Won't you hold me, won't you hold me

Mrs O

Oh Mrs. O
Will you tell us where the naughty children go
Will you show
How the sky turned white and everybody froze
Heaven knows how they got into the fireplace
But everybody's saying grace
And trying to keep a happy face

And oh Mrs. O
Will you teach us how to keep from getting cold
Out we go and you watch us as we face the falling snow
What a show with our hairdryers aimed heavenwards
And fifty foot extension cords
You really have a way with words

The truth won't save you now
The sky is falling down
Watch the vultures count the hours
April trains may bring strange showers

And oh Mrs. O
Will you tell about the time they made you go
All alone to the palace where they took your only clothes
We all know
There's no hell and no Hiroshima
Chernobyl was a cover up
The world is really all in love

And oh Mrs. o
Will you leave us hanging now that we are grown
Up and old
Will you kill me if I say I told you so
We all know
There's no hitler and no holocaust
No winter and no santa clause
And yes, virginia, all because

The truth won't save you now
The sky is falling down
Everything they ever told us
Shakes our faith and breaks their promise
But you can stop the truth from leaking
If you never stop believing

Shores of California

He's been trying with limited success
To get this girl to let him get into her pants
But every time he thinks he's getting close
She threatens death before he gets a chance

And that's the way it is in Minnesota
And that's the way it is in Oklahoma
That's the way it's been since protozoa
First climbed onto the shores of California

And she's been trying with limited success
To get him to turn out the lights and dance
Cause like any girl all she really wants
That fickle little bitch romance
That fickle little bitch romance

And that is why a girl is called a tease
And that is why a guy is called a sleaze
And that's why god made escort agencies
One life to live and mace and GHB

And that's the way it is in Minnesota
And that's the way it is in Oklahoma
That's the way since the animals and noah
First climbed onto the shores of California

Must not be too kind
Stop thinking love is blind
Clench your fists yeah write
“She's just not my type...”

Why all these conflicting specifications
Maybe to prevent overpopulation
All I know is that all around the nation
The girls are crying and the boys are masturbating
The girls are crying and the boys are masturbating

And that's the way it is in Minnesota
And that's the way it is in Oklahoma
That's the way aristophanes and homer
Wrote the Iliad and Lysistrata

And that's the way it is in Minnesota
And that's the way it is in Oklahoma
That's the way it's been since protozoa
First climbed onto the shores of California

*** Thanx a lot to Seth for this one ***

Necessary Evil

Let’s get lost
Fingers crossed
It is an ordinary evening
I am broadcasting are you receiving

Sick sick sound
All fall down
It is a necessary evil
Just like highway gas stations and people

I remember golden days when all this was a mystery
And you could write a letter then or god forbid come visit me
And if you find yourself without me
Can you find yourself without me
Can you find yourself without me
Can you find your self without me

Hi i'm fine
You are saying nothing but your tongue is getting blacker all the time
It is a measurable feeling
Seven on a scale from dead to breathing
I've connected speakers to my suitors at the discotheques
And they don't know the difference
Are they men or are they memorex?
And if you find yourself without me
If you find yourself without me
C'mon find yourself without me
C'mon c'mon c'mon
And take your listerine, listerine

I remember golden days when all this was a mystery
And you could write a letter then or god forbid come visit me
I remember golden days when all this was a mystery
And you could write a letter then or god forbid come visit me

And if you find yourself without me
If you find yourself without me
C'mon find yourself without me
C'mon c'mon c'mon
And take your listerine, listerine, listerine

*** Thanx a lot to Seth for this one ***

Mandy goes to med school

I've been feeling dull as a coat hanger
Pretty as a picture of a patient on a fresh iv
Giddy as a gangbanger with a set of sutures where his magic johnson ought to be

Yes i'll tell you just the thing you need to be the next big thing
Let's start in with a test of your intelligence
And zest for the counter-productive
Up and down and roundabout and out the back
And keep your mouth shut tight
The lights are staying out but no sweat i've got aim like a mack truck
Guess how many fingers ok guess how many more I can fit there
Guess right get the toaster but you know, miss, guessing gets you nowhere

I've been baking cakes for the enemy
I've been dying to find out the hard way
Ive been taking friends to the alleyway
Two down now but who's counting anyway

Yes I can do everything you need from out of my new SUV
All my work is guaranteed to last the length of your recovery
Put away those pliers honey trust me cause I know the options
How about a nine-month long vacation and a two-foot coffin

I've been getting up close and intimate
Some close calls but I'm getting into it
In some states they say you can burn for it
But I'll burn that bridge when I get to it

It's not a bad thing
To get professional
It's got a nice ring
Mandy goes to med school

I've been taking tips from the government
I've been getting damn good at hiding it
Fifty bucks a month ought to cover it
Two down now but who's gonna notice it
And if you show up and I am unavailable
My partner Brian would love to take care of you

He is a nice man
Thoroughly reliable
He's in a rock band
And he goes to med school

Me and the minibar

Bring two prix fixe dinners up
I'll unwrap the plastic cups
It's just us my love
It's just us my love

I will make the room up nice
Put your insides all on ice
It was real true love
It was real true love

Close all the windows
Put signs on the handles
And strip down to my dun-dun-duns
You have gone so far
You have gone so far

And tonight
Its just me and the minibar

Candles from the walmart that
Every city's got to have
That I bought last night
That I bought last night

I was so excited to
Do such normal things with you
When you left last night
With your toothbrush dry

No such details will spoil my plan
That is the kind of girl I am
Ha ha ha

Can you hear room 'three eighteen'
Man they're really happening
They're a wild bunch
They're a wild bunch
But if they just knew
What my night was coming to
God would they vomit and run
You have gone so far
You have gone too far
So tonight
It's just me and the minibar
Nobody else
And I sing at the top of my lungs
Happy birthday us
Happy birthday us

Sing

There is this thing that's like fucking except you don't fuck
Back in the day it just went without saying at all
All the world's history gradually dying of shock
There is thing that's like talking except you don't talk
You sing
You sing

Sing for the bartender sing for the janitor sing
Sing for the cameras sing for the animals sing
Sing for the children shooting the children sing
Sing for the teachers who told you that you couldn't sing
Just sing

There is thing keeping everyone's lungs and lips locked
It is called fear and it's seeing a great renaissance
After the show you can not sing wherever you want
But for now lets all pretend that we're gonna get bombed
So sing

Sing cause its obvious sing for the astronauts sing
Sing for the president sing for the terrorists sing
Sing for the soccer team sing for the janjaweed sing
Sing for the kid with the phone who refuses to sing
Just sing

Life is no cabaret
We don't care what you say
We're inviting you anyway
You motherfuckers you'll sing someday

No, Virginia

Dear Jenny

Boys wear overcoats in heat like this to keep themselves from showing
Girls fill out prescriptions for the tricks that keep their hearts from growing
Specialists review the year in tears and call for drastic measures
Send them to resorts for boys and girls to get their wits together

Sad but true the facts of life are bound to get you down
So what’s the use dear Jenny anyway
The world is pretty, the world is pretty

Ashley talks to astronauts back home by means of fax transmission
Andy gets a new tattoo each time he gets back bathroom privilege
Weary oh so drearily we wave our flags into the camera
Amber goes the hotlines are friends but no-one ever answers

Sad but true the truth can turn your smile to a frown
So what’s the use dear Jenny anyway the world is pretty
The world is pretty, the world is pretty upside-down

The rates are better in the summer
The rates are better in the summer
Looks like old Jenny's doing better
The rates are better in the summer

Back at home the broadcast warning bounces off of an empty table
Jenny asks the astronauts to sleep with her behind the stable
Christmas hasn't been the same since dad put in the central heating
Checks you before bedtime with a battery to keep your new heart beating

And the world might turn a million times around before
They tell you Jenny anyway the world is happy
The world is happy, the world is happy, the world is happy

Sometimes they let strangers in and other times they check their records
When they check out in the morning dad puts out the lie detectors
Jenny prays to gods she's never heard of for a special warning
All the walls stay dead as Jenny's head is
But she’s still observing

Sad but true the two of us might really make it through
So what’s the use dear Jenny anyway
The world is happy
The world is happy
The world is happy without you

The rates are better in the summer
The rates are better in the summer
Looks like old Jenny's doing better
The rates are better in the summer

Night Reconnaissance

Nothing is crueler than children who come from good homes
God will forgive them, I guess, but whose side are you on
Driving around the old town, I remember it all
Dropping my lunchbox and tampax all over the hall
And they said

You are a socialist cokehead, we know from your clothes
You are a Satanist worshipper of things evil
You think you're poet, a folksinger poseur, no-oh
A volleyball player, you’ve got to be kidding us all

So we hide from the guns
On our night reconnaissance
Steal flamingos and gnomes
From the dark side of the lawn

No one can stop us
The script is a work of genius
No one has bought the rights yet
But we're not giving up
Every unwanted lawn jockey fits in the script
Directed by Spielberg and starring the masochist club

Mary, you look like hell
Stuck in that ridiculous shell
Give us some light and God's pure love
We know what you've been dreaming of
Give us some light and God's pure love
We know what you've been dreaming of
Give us some light and God's pure love
We're taking you to Hollywood
Hollywood

And we hide from the guns
On our night reconnaissance
Steal flamingos and gnomes
From the dark side of the lawn

One plays a socialist cokehead we dress in my clothes
One plays a Satanist worshiper of things evil
One plays a poet who starts up a band of his own
One plays a volleyball player with both the wrists broke

And we hide from the guns
On our night reconnaissance
Steal flamingos and gnomes
From the dark side of the lawn

And we give them good homes
Give them love they've never known
In the loft, in the barn
In the town where I was born

In the loft, in the barn
In the town where I was born
In the loft, in the barn
In the town where I was born

The Mouse and the Model

Nothing is certain at this time of day
You could reverberate you could decay
The mouse and the model are laughing at us
We'll risk it we're desperate for someone to trust

Let's start a new heart
The new charts are in
We'll take them
We'll break them
We'll make them give in

By counting your blessings you wind up in debt
It starts with your family and ends in your bed
You Jekyll and Hyded when you could have let
Your guard down your dress up you must be upset

Let's start a new heart
The new charts are in
We'll take them
We'll break them
We'll make them give in

It's dark over here on the flipside of reason
The teaser could be something easy like "they did it in a book"
You're a crook, you're a fake, you're committed
If you did it say you did it, if you didn't suck it up and say you did

Let's start a new heart
The new charts are in
We'll tax them relax them
And make them for fun

The vote by a landslide
For Jekyll and Hyde
Mackenzie macavity
Bonnie and Clyde

Ultima esperanza

Downloading doves on your fancy computer
You're shooting for love in the dark
Hey foks you've found her now go instant message
Her name is a pretty good start

Ultima sits in her bedroom in Texas and
Waits for her hamsters to touch
She lost her legs in a car crash three years ago
She doesn't get around much

But she is hoping someday
Somebody will take her away

Now that you got her a dress you can send her
A matching attachment and face
Slick rhododendrons you make out of paper
With flowers that never lose shape

You have a video camera strapped to
Your forehead in case she is true
Smiling rewind as we die in slow motion
As if it’s not happening to you

Don't be afraid of the dark ages darling
You may have to wait but a letter is coming
With mixes of Marilyn songs
And pictures she took at the prom
Knowing her name is enough
Ultima

Foks trotting globes rotting under your fingertips
Tapping for oil in veins
Surely you won't think to hold that against me
It's such an unusual name

Someone is hoping to find
Her limbs in an auction online
Knowing her name is enough
Ultima Esperanza

The Gardener

Sorry for the setback
I know I let you down
Turn back the clocks and step back
And spring might come around

My little misbegotten
You're quite a stubborn bud
If we can't make you open
We will take it out in blood

We'll make a man out of you yet
We will plant brambles in your bed
Just close your eyes and count to ten
This is as good as it will get

Oh is our little willow willow weeping
Flutter to your knees
The untilled things before me
Oh the possibilities

Thank you for the warning
But I still see the sun
A little global warming
Never hurt no one

We’ll make a man out of you yet
A crown of thorns around your head
Get off your knees and have a look
This is as good as it will get

At last my little flower
Is getting put to use
You’ve always been a failure
But now you're bearing strange new fruit

The insides are all useless
But the rest is fertile so
I will take the belt from off the hook
And watch the garden grow

We’ll make a man out of you yet
You won't know what will hit you next
The gardener's coming to collect
You wanted love, that’s what you get

The gardener's coming to collect
The gardener's coming to collect
The gardener's coming to collect
The gardener's coming to collect
The gardener's coming to collect

Lonesome Organist Rapes Page Turner

He told me that I knew what to laugh at
And I wanted to but I just couldn't ask if he would take it back
So I could know for certain
So on the bench I watched his left hand crossing
While doubling entendres with the voicings
He said "Oh darling, you're charming
Please don't find it alarming
If I pull this stop out to free up a hand for heavy petting"

Now there there
I'm a friendly man
I joke about sex because it's funny when you're frightened

So silently I sat and turned the pages
Recalculating our respective ages
Over my shoulder, he muttered, "If I get any older
You can hack my wrists off with your choice of objects
No, I'm kidding"

Don't be scared
I'm a friendly man
I joke about death because it's funny when you're frightened

This is as far as I could get
He jabbed a needle in my neck
Erasing all the evidence
But there were matchsticks in my pants
And if a rock should hit my head
And I remember what he did
You'll be the very first to know
Maybe I'll find out why this damn thing won't stop bleeding

He told me that I showed a great potential
That given I turned heads and pages
Fame would be a piece of cake
But practice was essential
So like a stupid child I believed it
And golly who would had agreed if
I had been Schubert or Mozart
Devoted to the fine art of perfecting absolutely everything inconsequential

Don't be sad
I'll come back again
I joke about trash 'cause it takes class to be enlightened

So several decades have gone by
I am still sitting by his side
I turn the pages faithfully
He turns his head and smiles at me
And with a wink he says, "I doubt
We would be anywhere without
Your gift for keeping truth and consequence from meeting"

Sorry bunch

We're a sorry bunch
The odds of it are such a drag my darling
I could have lost her hand
You should look where you are going, guy
I could have lost my life
But I would lose a hundred fights

Just as long as you were on my side
Just as long as you were on my side
Just as long as you were on my side
Just as long as you were on my side

We're a sorry bunch
The odds of it are such a bummer darling
So you were lost in thought
Well it won't help now to say you're sorry
'Cause they could've knocked us off
But I would skip a hundred parties

Just as long as you were invited
Just as long as nobody knew
Just as long as you were invited
Just as long as nobody knew
That we were high

Here's to alcohol
Here's to all of y'all
Here's to all of the things that we take
When we want to think like no one's listening

Just as long as you were on my side
Just as long as you were on my side
Just as long as you were on my side
Just as long as you were on my side

Pretty in Pink

( The Psychedelic Furs Cover / High School Reunion - A tribute to those great 80's films )

My sweet darling
My sweet sweet darling
One, two

Caroline laughs and it's raining all day
She loves to be one of the girls
She lives in the place in the side of our lives
Where nothing is ever put straight
She turns herself round and she smiles and she says
'This is it, that's the end of the joke'
And loses herself in her dreaming and sleep
And her lovers walk through in their coats

She's pretty in pink
Isn't she
Pretty in pink
Isn't she

All of her lovers all talk of her notes
And the flowers that they never sent
And wasn't she easy and isn't she pretty in pink
The one who insists he was first in the line
Is the last to remember her name
He's walking around in this dress that she wore
She is gone but the joke's the same

Pretty in pink
Isn't she
Pretty in pink
Isn't she

Caroline talks to you softly sometimes
She says 'I love you' and 'Too much'
She doesn't have anything you want to steal
Well, nothing you can touch
She waves, she buttons your shirt
The traffic is waiting outside
She hands you this coat
She gives you her clothes
These cars collide

Pretty in pink
Isn't she
Pretty in pink
Isn't she

The Kill

I am anarchist
An antichrist
An asterix
I am an anorak
An acolyte
An accidental
I am eleven feet
Okay, eight
Six foot three
I fought the British and I won
I am a rocket ship
A jet-fighter
A paper airplane
Ja ja ja ja ja

Say what you will
I am The Kill
The only thing that keeps you
Really truly safe from being real

I have a tendency
To exaggerate
Just a little bit
I am a plagiarist
Apologist
A walrus cokehead lizard
I am an optimist
A closeted
Misogynist
I fought the British and I won

I have a wishing well
A living will
A magical eight ball
Ja ja ja ja ja

Say what you will
I am The Kill

Say what you will
I am The Kill
The only thing that keeps you
Really truly safe from being real

Put pat sajak back in office
Put pat sajak back

But the sun still sets on you
And the retarded party
Nobody came to but you
And so you drink to
All the emptiness
Until you wake up
And there’s hell to pay again

And the punch lines point at you
And all the comebacks in the world are in your head
And you can’t say them until everybody leaves
And it’s just you and your imaginary friends…
Your imaginary friends
Your imaginary friends
Your imaginary friends
Your imaginary friends

The sheep song

Wash up
Bowl of mush
Look I made America
Hush hush
Don’t don’t rush
Time for quiet
Time to brush

Brown wine
Turpentine
Everything will be just fine
Sleep now
Never fear
All your animals are here

One, two, three
Counting sheep
I lay me down to sleep
But I see a sheep that will not leave
From the back they catch him in a trap
Hit his head and send him off to bed

Cutting by numbers is kinder
Invest in the one with the silencer
All of the studies say if they’re
Calm when they die then they taste better

Cutting by numbers is kinder
Invest in the one with the silencer
All of the studies say if they’re
Calm when they die then they taste better

Goodbye
Olive sky
I am crying all the time
There there
Don’t despair
We will find your sheep somewhere

Boston

All the cities in the world
And so very little time and
So many different girls
All you have to do is find them

There’s a wealth of opportunity
you make your plans accordingly
A pity but the pretty ones are usually more touristy
Say how’d you like to run away from these machines
Everywhere the spies are printing out our dreams
Seven stops in seven different countries
Seven page itineraries
Memories thick as bloody marys
Jesus joseph bloody hell

Right now were here in Boston
In love with downtown crossing
New York will still be there in the morning
Come back to bed my darling

I had Julian and Steve
You had Julia and Jeanette
You wear your terror on your sleeve
For all the men I haven’t met, yet
I had oliver in Potsdam
You had Elanor in Amsterdam
We’re keeping score so carefully
We’ve lost the state we’re in completely
Honestly your foot is out the door
And I’ve got scores of offers elsewhere
And keep both feet planted firmly in the air
And tomorrow you can totally erase me from your mind
No, really, everything is fine

Because right now we’re here in Boston
In my apartment in the south end
Forget your friends in London
Come back to bed my darling

You can put the details in a letter
The more embarrassing the better
Right now I can be happy if I choose to
I know that in the morning I will lose you

And maybe you’ll be mad
And maybe I’ll be gray
Before we really understand
Or maybe it won't matter anyway
We’ll find out that your mom was right
And you’ll admit you’re really gay
And maybe we’ll wake up
In a city far away
Or maybe we’ll make up
And buy a house and have a dozen kids
Who’ll run away it doesn’t matter anyway

Right now we’re here in Boston
N I M B F R T O Feeling
Don’t worry who these jokes will all be lost on
Come back to bed my darling

There is nothing in the world that we can count on
Even that we will wake up is an assumption
But I know for a fact that I loved someone
And for about a year he lived in Boston
In Boston