Just click HERE for the 2nd part or HERE for the 3rd part of Tom Waits Lyrics.

Closing time

Ol' 55

Well my time went so quickly,
I went lickety-splickly out to my old '55
As I drove away slowly, feeling so holy,
God knows, I was feeling alive.

Now the sun's coming up,
I'm riding with Lady Luck,
Freeway cars and trucks,
Stars beginning to fade,
And I lead the parade

Just a-wishing I'd stayed a little longer,
Oh, Lord, let me tell you
That the feeling's getting stronger.

And it's six in the morning,
Gave me no warning; I had to be on my way.
Well there's trucks all a-passing me,
And the lights are all flashing,
I'm on my way home from your place.

And now the sun's coming up,
I'm riding with Lady Luck,
Freeway cars and trucks,
Stars beginning to fade,
And I lead the parade

Just a-wishing I'd stayed a little longer,
Oh, Lord, let me tell you
That the feeling's getting stronger.

And my time went so quickly,
I went lickety-splickly out to my old '55
As I pulled away slowly, feeling so holy,
God knows, I was feeling alive.

Now the sun's coming up,
I'm riding with Lady Luck,
Freeway cars and trucks,
Freeway cars and trucks,
Freeway cars and trucks...

I Hope That I Don't Fall in Love with You

Well I hope that I don't fall in love with you
'Cause falling in love just makes me blue,
Well the music plays and you display
Your heart for me to see,
I had a beer and now I hear you
Calling out for me
And I hope that I don't fall in love with you.

Well the room is crowded, people everywhere
And I wonder, should I offer you a chair?
Well if you sit down with this old clown,
Take that frown and break it,
Before the evening's gone away,
I think that we could make it,
And I hope that I don't fall in love with you.

Well the night does funny things inside a man
These old tom-cat feelings you don't understand,
Well I turn around to look at you,
You light a cigarette,
I wish I had the guts to bum one,
But we've never met,
And I hope that I don't fall in love with you.

I can see that you are lonesome just like me,
And it being late, you'd like some some company,
Well I turn around to look at you,
And you look back at me,
The guy you're with has up and split,
The chair next to you's free,
And I hope that you don't fall in love with me.

Now it's closing time, the music's fading out
Last call for drinks, i'll have another stout.
Well I turn around to look at you,
You're nowhere to be found,
I search the place for your lost face,
Guess i'll have another round
And I think that I just fell in love with you.

Virginia Avenue

Well, I'm walking on down Virginia Avenue
Trying to find somebody to tell my troubles to.
Harold's club is closing,

And everybody's going on home:
What's a poor boy to do?

I'll just get on back into my short,
Make it back to the fort
Sleep off all the crazy lizards inside of my brain.
There's got to be some place
That's better than this
This life I'm leading's driving me insane

And let me tell you I'm dreaming...

Let me tell you that
I'm dreaming to the twilight,
This town has got me down.
I've seen all the highlights,
I've been walking all around
I won't make a fuss, i'll take a Greyhound bus,
Carry me away from here:
Tell me, what have I got to lose?

'Cause I'm walking on down Columbus Avenue
The bars are all closing,
'Cause it's quarter to two
Every town I go to is like a lock without a key
Those I leave behind are catching up on me,
Let me tell you they're catching up on me,
They're catching up on me
Catching up on me, catching up on me,
Catching up on me.

Old Shoes (And Picture Postcards)

I'm singing this song, it's time it was sung
I've been putting it off for a while,
But it's harder by now, 'cause the truth is so clear
That I cry when I'm seeing you smile.
So goodbye, so long, the road calls me dear
And your tears cannot bind me anymore,
And farewell to the girl with the sun in her eyes
Can I kiss you, and then i'll be gone.

Every time that I tried to tell
That we'd lost the magic we had at the start,
I would weep my heart when I looked in your eyes
And I searched once again for the spark.
So goodbye, so long, the road calls me dear
And your tears cannot bind me anymore,
And farewell to the girl with the sun in her eyes
Can I kiss you, and then i'll be gone.

I can see by your eyes, it's time now to go
So i'll leave you to cry in the rain,
Though I held in my hand, the key to all joy
Honey my heart was not born to be tamed.
So goodbye, so long, the road calls me dear
And your tears cannot bind me anymore,
And farewell to the girl with the sun in her eyes
Can I kiss you, and then i'll be gone.

So goodbye, so long, the road calls me dear
And your tears cannot bind me anymore,
And farewell to the girl with the sun in her eyes
Can I kiss you, and then i'll be gone,
Can I kiss you, and then i'll be gone,
Can I kiss you, and then i'll be gone.

Midnight Lullaby

Sing a song of sixpence, pocket full of rye
Hush-a bye my baby, no need to be crying.
You can burn the midnight oil with me
As long as you will
Stare out at the moon
Upon the windowsill, and dream...

Sing a song of sixpence, pocket full of rye
Hush-a bye my baby, no need to be crying.
There's dew drops on the window sill,
Gumdrops in your head
Slipping into dream land,
You're nodding your head, so dream...

Dream of West Virginia, or of the British Isles
'Cause when you are dreaming,
You see for miles and miles.
When you are much older, remember when we sat
At midnight on the windowsill,
And had this little chat
And dream, come on and dream,
Come on and dream, and dream, and dream...

Martha

Operator, number, please
It's been so many years
Will she remember my old voice
While I fight the tears?
Hello, hello there, is this Martha?
This is old Tom Frost,
And I am calling long distance,
Don't worry 'bout the cost.
'Cause it's been forty years or more,
Now Martha please recall,
Meet me out for coffee,
Where we'll talk about it all.

And those were the days of roses,
Poetry and prose and Martha
All I had was you and all you had was me.
There was no tomorrows,
We'd packed away our sorrows
And we saved them for a rainy day.

And I feel so much older now,
And you're much older too,
How's your husband?
And how's the kids?
You know that I got married too?
Lucky that you found someone
To make you feel secure,
'Cause we were all so young and foolish,
Now we are mature.

And those were the days of roses,
Poetry and prose and Martha
All I had was you and all you had was me.
There was no tomorrows,
We'd packed away our sorrows
And we saved them for a rainy day.

And I was always so impulsive,
I guess that I still am,
And all that really mattered then
Was that I was a man.
I guess that our being together
Was never meant to be.
And Martha, Martha,
I love you can't you see?

And those were the days of roses,
Poetry and prose and Martha
All I had was you and all you had was me.
There was no tomorrows,
We'd packed away our sorrows
And we saved them for a rainy day.

And I remember quiet evenings
Trembling close to you...

Rosie

Well I'm sitting on a windowsill, blowing my horn
Nobody's up except the moon and me,
And a lazy old tomcat on a midnight spree
All that you left me was a melody.
Rosie, why do you evade? Rosie,
How can I persuade? Rosie...

And the moon's all up, full and big,
Apricot tips in an indigo sky,
And i've been loving you, Rosie,
Since the day I was born
And i'll love you, Rosie 'til the day I die.
Rosie, why do you evade? Rosie,
How can I persuade? Rosie...

Rosie, why do you evade? Rosie,
How can I persuade? Rosie...

And I'm sitting on a windowsill, blowing my horn
Nobody's up except the moon and me,
And a lazy old tomcat on a midnight spree
All that you left me was a melody.
Rosie, why do you evade?
Rosie, how can I persuade? Rosie...

Lonely

Lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely eyes,
Lonely face, lonely lonely in your place.
Lonely, lonely, lonely eyes, lonely face,
Lonely lonely in your place.

I thought that I knew all that there was to,
Lonely, lonely, lonely...

Melanie Jane, won't feel the pain.
Lonely, lonely, lonely eyes, lonely eyes,
Lonely lonely in your place.

And I thought that I knew all that there was to
Lonely, lonely, lonely eyes, lonely eyes,
Lonely lonely in your place, and
I still love you, I still love you,
Lonely, lonely...

Ice Cream Man

I'll be clickin' by your house about two forty-five
Sidewalk sundae strawberry surprise,
I got a cherry popsicle right on time
A big stick, mamma, that'll blow your mind

'Cause I'm the ice cream man,
I'm a one-man band (yeah)
I'm the ice cream man, honey,
I'll be good to you.

Baby, missed me in the alley, baby, don't you fret
Come back around and don't forget,
When you're tired and you're hungry
And you want something cool,
Got something better than a swimming pool

'Cause I'm the ice cream man,
I'm a one-man band
I'm the ice cream man, honey,
I'll be good to you.
'Cause I'm the ice cream man,
I'm a one-man band
I'm the ice cream man, honey,
I'll be good to you.

See me coming, you ain't got no change
Don't worry baby, it can be arranged:
Show me you can smile, baby just for me
Fix you with a drumstick, i'll do it for free

'Cause I'm the ice cream man, I'm a one-man band
I'm the ice cream man, honey, i'll be good to you.
Be good to you, be good to you,
Good to you yeah, good to you yeah,
Good to you yeah, good to you yeah,
Good to you yeah, good to you,
'Ll be good to you, i'll be good to you...

Little Trip to Heaven (On the Wings of your Love)

Lazy trip to heaven on the wings of your love
Banana moon is shining in the sky,
Feel like I'm in heaven when you're with me
Know that I'm in heaven when you smile,
Though we're stuck here on the ground,
I got something that i've found
And it's you.

And I don't have to take no trip to outer space
All I have to do is look at your face,
And before I know it, I'm in orbit around you
Thanking my lucky stars that i've found you,
When I see your constellation,
Honey, you're my inspiration,
And it's you.

You're my north star when I'm lost and feeling blue,
The sun is breaking through the clouds
Don't you, don't you know it's true?
Honey, all the other stars seem dim around you
Thanking my lucky stars that i've found you,
When I see your smiling face, honey,
I know nothing ever going to take your place,
And it's you.

And it's you, and it's you,
And it's you, and it's you, and it's you
And it's you, and it's you, shoo-be-doo, ba-da-da.

Grapefruit Moon

Grapefruit moon, one star shining,
Shining down on me.
Heard that tune, and now I'm pining,
Honey, can't you see?
'Cause every time I hear that melody,
Well, something breaks inside,
And the grapefruit moon, one star shining,
Can't turn back the tide.

Never had no destination, could not get across.
You became my inspiration, oh but what a cost.
'Cause every time I hear that melody,
Well, something breaks inside,
And the grapefruit moon, one star shining,
Is more than I can hide.

Now I'm smoking cigarettes
And I strive for purity,
And I slip just like the stars into obscurity.
'Cause every time I hear that melody,
Well, puts me up a tree,
And the grapefruit moon, one star shining,
Is all that I can see.

The Heart of Saturday Night

New Coat Of Paint

Let's put a new coat of paint on this lonesome old town
Set 'em up, we'll be knockin' em down.
You wear a dress, baby, and I'll wear a tie.
We'll laugh at that old bloodshot moon in that burgundy sky

All your scribbled lovedreams, are lost or thrown away,
Here amidst the shuffle of an overflowing day
Our love needs a transfusion so let's shoot it full of wine
Fishin' for a good time starts with throwin'in your line.

San Diego Serenade

I never saw the morning 'til I stayed up all night
I never saw the sunshine 'til you turned out the light
I never saw my hometown until I stayed away too long
I never heard the melody, until I needed a song.

I never saw the white line, 'til I was leaving you behind
I never knew I needed you 'til I was caught up in a bind
I never spoke 'I love you' 'til I cursed you in vain,
I never felt my heartstrings until I nearly went insane.

I never saw the east coast 'til I move to the west
I never saw the moonlight until it shone off your breast
I never saw your heart 'til someone tried to steal,
tried to steal it away
I never saw your tears until they rolled down your face.

Semi Suite

Well you hate those diesels rollin'
And those Friday nights out bowlin'
When he's off for a twelve hour lay over night

You wish you had a dollar
For every time he hollered
That he's leavin'
And he's never comin' back

But the curtain-laced billow
And his hands on your pillow
And his trousers are hangin' on the chair

You're lyin' through your pain, babe
But you're gonna tell him he's your man
And you ain't got the courage to leave

He tells you that you're on his mind
You're the only one he's ever gonna find
It's kind-a special, understands his complicated soul...

But the only place a man can breathe
And collect his thoughts is
Midnight and flyin' away on the road.

But you've packed and unpacked
So many times you've lost track
And the steam heat is drippin' off the walls

But when you hear his engines
You're lookin' through the window in the kitchen and you know
You're always gonna be there when he calls

'Cause he's a truck drivin' man
Stoppin' when he can
He's a truck drivin' man
Stoppin' when he can

Shiver Me Timbers

I'm leavin' my fam'ly
Leavin' all my friends
My body's at home
But my heart's in the wind
Where the clouds are like headlines
On a new front page sky
My tears are salt water
And the moon's full and high

And I know Martin Eden's
Gonna be proud of me
And many before me
Who've been called by the sea
To be up in the crow's nest
Singin' my say
Shiver me Timbers
'Cause I'm a-sailin' away

And the fog's liftin'
And the sand's shiftin'
I'm driftin' on out
Ol' Captain Ahab
He ain't got nothin' on me, now.
So swallow me, don't follow me
I'm trav'lin' alone
Blue water's my daughter
'n I'm gonna skip like a stone

So please call my missus
Gotta tell her not to cry
'Cause my goodbye is written
By the moon in the sky
Hey and nobody knows me
I can't fathom my stayin'
Shiver me timbers
'Cause I'm a-sailin' away

And the fog's liftin'
And the sand's shiftin'
I'm driftin' on out
Ol' Captain Ahab
He ain't got nothin' on me
So come and swallow me, follow me
I'm trav'lin' alone
Blue water's my daughter
'n I'm gonna skip like a stone

And I'm leavin' my family
Leavin' all my friends
My body's at home
But my heart's in the wind
Where the clouds are like headlines
Upon a new front page sky
And shiver me timbers
'Cause I'm a-sailin' away

Diamonds on my Windshield

Diamonds on my windshield
Tears from heaven
Pulling into town on the Interstate
Pulling a steel train in the rain
The wind bites my cheek through the wing
Fast flying, freway driving
Always makes me sing

There's a Duster tryin' to change my tune
Pulling up fast on the right
Rolling restlessly, twenty-four hour moon

Wisconsin hiker with a cue-ball head
Wishing he was home in a Wiscosin bed
fifteen feet of snow in the East
Colder then a welldigger's ass

Oceanside it ends the ride, San Clemente coming up
Sunday desperadoes slip by, gas station closed,
cruise with a dry back
Orange drive-in the neon billin'
Theatre's fillin' to the brim
Slave girls and a hot spurn bucket full of sin

Metropolitan area with interchange and connections
Fly-by-nights from Riverside
Black and white plates, out of state,
running a little bit late

Sailors jockey for the fast lane
101 don't miss it
Rolling hills and concrete fields
The broken line's on your mind

Eights go east and the fives go north
The merging nexus back and forth
You see your sign, cross the line,
signalling with a blink

The radio's gone off the air
Gives you time to think
You ease it out and you creep across
Intersection light goes out
You hear the rumble
As you fumble for a cigarette
Blazing through this midnight jungle
Remember someone that you met
One more block; the engine talks
And whispers 'home at last'
It whispers, whispers, whispers
'home at last', home at last

(Looking For) The Heart of Saturday Night

Well you gassed her up
Behind the wheel
With your arm around your sweet one
In your Oldsmobile
Barrelin' down the boulevard
You're looking for the heart of Saturday night

And you got paid on Friday
And your pockets are jinglin'
And you see the lights
You get all tinglin' cause you're cruisin' with a 6
And you're looking for the heart of Saturday night

Then you comb your hair
Shave your face
Tryin' to wipe out ev'ry trace
All the other days
In the week you know that this'll be the Saturday
You're reachin' your peak

Stoppin' on the red
You're goin' on the green
'Cause tonight'll be like nothin'
You've ever seen
And you're barrelin' down the boulevard
Lookin' for the heart of Saturday night

Tell me is the crack of the poolballs, neon buzzin?
Telephone's ringin'; it's your second cousin
Is it the barmaid that's smilin' from the corner of her eye?
Magic of the melancholy tear in your eye.

Makes it kind of quiver down in the core
'Cause you're dreamin' of them Saturdays that came before
And now you're stumblin'
You're stumblin' onto the heart of Saturday night

Well you gassed her up
And you're behind the wheel
With your arm around your sweet one
In your Oldsmobile
Barrellin' down the boulevard,
You're lookin' for the heart of Saturday night

Is the crack of the poolballs, neon buzzin?
Telephone's ringin'; it's your second cousin
And the barmaid is smilin' from the corner of her eye
Magic of the melancholy tear in your eye.

Makes it kind of special down in the core
And you're dreamin' of them Saturdays that came before
It's found you stumblin'
Stumblin' onto the heart of Saturday night
And you're stumblin'
Stumblin onto the heart of Saturday night

Fumblin' With the Blues

Friday left me fumblin' with the blues
And it's hard to win when you always lose
Because the nightspots spend your spirit
Beat your head against the wall
Two dead ends and you've still got to choose

You know the bartenders
They all know my name
And they catch me when I'm pulling up lame
And I'm a pool-shooting-shimmy-shyster shaking my head
When I should be living clean instead

You know the ladies I've been seeing off and on
Well they spend your love and then they're gone
You can't be lovin' someone who is savage and cruel
Take your love and then they leave on out of town
No they do

Well now fallin' in love is such a breeze
But its standin' up that's so hard for me
I wanna squeeze you but I'm scared to death I'd break your back
You know your perfume
Well it won't let me be

You know the bartenders all know my name
And they catch me when I'm pulling up lame
And I'm a pool-shooting-shimmy-shyster shaking my head
When I should be living clean instead

Come on baby
Let your love light shine
Gotta bury me inside of your fire
Because your eyes are 'nough to blind me
You're like a-looking at the sun
You gotta whisper tell me I'm the one
Come on and whisper tell me I'm the one
Gotta whisper tell me I'm the one
Come on and whisper tell me I'm the one

Please Call Me, Baby

The evening fell just like a star
Left a trail behind
You spit as you slammed out the door
If this is love we're crazy
As we fight like cats and dogs
But I just know there's got to be more

So please call me baby, wherever you are
It's too cold to be out walking in the streets
We do crazy things when we're wounded
Everyone's a bit insane
I don't want you catching your death of cold
Out walking in the rain

And I admit that I ain't no angel
I admit that I ain't no saint
I'm selfish and I'm cruel but you're blind
If I exorcise my devils
Well my angels may leave too
When they leave they're so hard to find

So please call me baby, wherever you are
It's too cold to be out walking in the streets
We do crazy things when we're wounded
Everyone's a bit insane
I don't want you catching your death of cold
Out walking in the rain

And we're always at each other's throats
You know it drives me up the wall
But most of the time I'm just blowing off steam
And I wish to God you'd leave me
Baby I wish to God you'd stay
Life's so different than it is in your dreams

So please call me baby, wherever you are
It's too cold to be out walking in the streets
We do crazy things when we're wounded
Everyone's a bit insane
I don't want you catching your death of cold
Out walking in the rain

Depot, Depot

Depot, depot, what am I doing here?
Depot, depot, what am I doing here?
I ain't coming, I ain't going
My confusion is showing
Outside the midnight wind is blowing Sixth Avenue
I'm gonna paint myself blue
At the depot

I watch the taxis pull up and idle
I can't claim title to a single memory
He offered me a key
'Cause opportunity don't knock
He has no tongue and she cannot talk
You're gonna shuffle when you walk
At the depot

This peeping-Tom needs a peephole
And an uptempo song
To move me along
When I find this depot baby
I'm on a roll just like a pool ball baby
I'm gonna be there at the roll call maybe
At the depot

Outside the midnight wind is blowing Sixth Avenue
Oh, tell me what a poor boy to do
At the depot
I'm on a roll just like a pool ball baby
I'm gonna be there at the roll call maybe
At the depot
The depot

Drunk on the Moon

Tight-slacked clad girls on the graveyard shift
'Neath the cement stroll catch the midnight drift
Cigar chewing charlie in that newspaper nest
Grifting hot horse tips on who's running the best

And I'm blinded by the neon
Don't try and change my tune
'Cause I thought I heard a saxophone
I'm drunk on the moon

The moon's a silver slipper it's pouring champagne stars
Broadway's like a serpent pulling shiny top-down cars
Laramer is teeming with that undulating beat
And some Bonneville is screaming it's way wilder down the street

And I'm blinded by the neon
Don't try and change my tune
I thought I heard a saxophone
I'm drunk on the moon

Hearts flutter and race the moon's on the wane
Tarts mutter their dream hopes the night will ordain
Come schemers and dancers cherry delight
As a Cleveland-bound Greyhound and it cuts throught the night

And I've hawked all my yesterdays
Don't try and change my tune
I thought I heard a saxophone
I'm drunk on the moon

The Ghosts of Saturday Night
(After Hours at Napoleone's Pizza House)

A cab combs the snake,
Tryin' to rake in that last night's fare,
And a solitary sailor
Who spends the facts of his life
like small change on strangers...

Paws his inside P-coat pocket
for a welcome twenty-five cents,
And the last bent butt from a package of Kents,
As he dreams of a waitress with Maxwell House eyes
And marmalade thighs with scrambled yellow hair.

Her rhinestone-studded moniker says, "Irene"
As she wipes the wisps of dishwater blonde from her eyes

And the Texaco beacon burns on,
The steel-belted attendant with a 'Ring and Valve Special'...
Cryin' "Fill'er up and check that oil"
"You know it could be a distributor and it could be a coil."

The early mornin' final edition's on the stands,
And that town cryer's cryin' there with nickels in his hands.
Pigs in a blanket sixty-nine cents,
Eggs - roll 'em over and a package of Kents,
Adam and Eve on a log, you can sink 'em damn straight,
Hash browns, hash browns, you know I can't be late.

And the early dawn cracks out a carpet of diamond
Across a cash crop car lot
filled with twilight Coupe Devilles,
Leaving the town in a-keeping
Of the one who is sweeping
Up the ghost of Saturday night...

Nighthawks at the Diner

Opening Introduction

Well, an inebriated good evening to you all. Welcome to Rapheal's Silver Cloud Lounge. Slip me a little crimson Jimson, give me the low down Brown, I want some scoop Betty Boop. I'm on my way into town.
Course I'd rather...want to thank you all for opening the program for us. I'm so God damn horny that the crack of dawn better be careful around me.
Yeah, I wanna pull on your coat about something here tonight. Yeah, a little news I'd like to throw your direction. See I...I used to know a girl, yeah and it was a hubber hubber and ding ding ding. I said 'Baby, you got everything.' A week later it was a hubber hubber and ding ding dong, baby it sure didn't last too long.
I know things are tough all over, ain't getting any better. I was moved, kind of swivel a little bit of a kind of an emotional weather forcast for you this evening. What I'm talking about is...well you know I've been playing night clubs and staying out all night long, come a home late, gone for three months, come back and everything in the refrigerator turns into a science project. So you get designs on a waitress you know. She got three or four kids, she's sorting out her cheques and she's counting out her change, you say 'Hey baby, heat me up a bearclaw on the radar range'. Well and then it gets real cold.

Emotional Weather Report

Late night and early morning low clouds
With a chance of fog
Chance of showers into the afternoon
With variable high cloudiness
And gusty winds, gusty winds
At times around the corner of
Sunset and Alvorado
Things are tough all over
When the thunder storms start
Increasing over the southeast
And south central portions
Of my apartment, I get upset
And a line of thunderstorms was
Developing in the early morning
Ahead of a slow moving coldfront
Cold blooded
With tornado watches issued shortly
Before noon Sunday, for the areas
Including, the western region
Of my mental health
And the northern portions of my
Ability to deal rationally with my
Disconcerted precarious emotional
Situation, it's cold out there
Colder than a ticket taker's smile
At the Ivar Theatre, on a Saturday night
Flash flood watches covered the
Southern portion of my disposition
There was no severe weather well
Into the afternoon, except for a lone gust of
Wind in the bedroom
In a high pressure zone, covering the eastern
Portion of a small suburban community
With a 103 and millibar high pressure zone
And a weak pressure ridge extending from
My eyes down to my cheeks cause since
You left me baby
And put the vice grips on my mental health
Well the extended outlook for an
Indefinite period of time until you
Come back to me baby is high tonight
Low tomorrow, and precipitation is
Expected

On a Foggy Night

On a foggy night, an abandoned road
In a twilight mirror mirage
With no indication of a service station
Or an all night garage, I was misinformed
I was misdirected cause the interchange
Never intersected leaving me marooned
Beneath a bloodshot moon
All upon a foggy night, on a foggy night
An abandoned road, in a blurred brocade
Collage, is that a road motel?
I can't really tell, is that what you
Might call some kind of a vacancy lodge
Cause there's no consolation, what
Kind of situation to be aimlessly skewed
Amidst a powder blue?
No tell tail light clue
Spun like the spell you spin
This precarious pandemonium
I'm stranded, all upon a foggy night
All upon a foggy night
On a foggy night

Eggs & Sausage
(In a Cadillac With Susan Michelson)

Nighthawks at the diner
Emma's 49er
There's a rendezvous of strangers
Around the coffee urn tonight
All the gypsy hacks and the insomniacs
Now the paper's been read
Now the waitress said

Eggs and sausage and a side of toast
Coffee and a roll, hash browns over easy
Chile in a bowl with burgers and fries
What kind of pie?

It's a graveyard charade it's a late shift masquerade
And it's 2 for a quarter, dime for a dance
Woolworth rhinestone diamond earrings and a sideway's glance
Now the register rings
Now the waitress sings

Eggs and sausage and a side of toast
Coffee and a roll, hash browns over easy
Chile in a bowl with burgers and fries
What kind of pie?

The classified section offers no direction
It's a cold caffeine in a nicotine cloud
Now the touch of your fingers
Lingers burning in my memory
I've been 86ed from your scheme
Now I'm in a melodramatic nocturnal scene
Now I'm a refugee from a disconcerted affair
Now the lead pipe morning fall
Now the waitress call

Eggs and sausage, now a side of toast
Coffee and a roll, hash browns over easy
Chile in a bowl with burgers and fries
And now what kind of pie?
? if you will
Just come in and join the crowd
Have some time to kill
See I just come in to join the crowd
Have some time to kill
Just come in to join the crowd
Cause I have some time to kill

Better Off Without a Wife

All my friends are married
Every Tom and Dick and Harry
You must be strong if your to go it alone
Here's to the bachelors and the Bowery bums
Those who feel that they're the ones
That are better off without a wife

Cause I like to sleep until the crack of noon
Midnight howling at the moon
Going out when I want to and I'm coming home when I please
Don't have to ask permission, wanna to go out fishing
Never have to ask for the key

Well I've never been no Valentino
But I dad a girl who lived in Reno
Left me for a trumpet player who didn't get me down
He was wanted for assault
Though he said it weren't his fault
You know the coppers rode him right out of town

I've been sleeping until the crack of noon
Midnight howling at the moon
And I've been Going out when I wanna coming home when I please
Don't have to ask permission, wanna to go out fishing
Never have to ask for the key

Kinda selfish about my privacy
Now as long as I can be with me
We get along so well I can't believe
I love to chew the fat with folks
I've been listening to all your dirty jokes
I'm so thankful for these friends I do receive

I've been sleeping until the crack of noon
Midnight howling at the moon
And I've been Going out when I wanna coming home when I please
Don't have to ask permission, I wanna to go out fishing
Never have to ask for the keys, no

Yeah, I've got this girl I know, man and I just
She's been married several times.
I don't wanna end up like her
I mean she's been married so many times she's got rice marks all over her face.
Yeah you know the kind.

Nighthawk Postcards (From Easy Street)

There's a blur drizzle down the plateglass
As a neon swizzle stick stirrin up the sultry night air
And a yellow biscuit of a buttery cue ball moon
Rollin' maverick across an obsidian sky
As the busses go groanin' and wheezin',
Down on the corner I'm freezin';
On a restless boulevard at a midnight road
I'm across town from EASY STREET
With the tight knots of moviegoers and out of towners
On the stroll
And the buildings towering high above
Lit like dominoes or black dice
All the used car salesmen dressed up in
Purina Checkerboard slacks
And Foster Grant wrap-around,
Pacing in front of EARL SCHLEIB
$39.95 merchandise
Like barkers at a shootin' gallery
They throw out kind of a Texas Guinan routine
"Hello sucker, we like your money
Just as well as anybody else's here"
Or they give you the P.T. Barnum bit
"There's a sucker born every minute
You just happened to be comin' along at the right time"
Come over here now
You know... All the harlequin sailors are on the stroll
In a search of "LIKE NEW," "NEW PAINT,"
Decent factory air and AM-FM dreams
And the piss yellow gypsy cabs
Stacked up in the taxi zones waitin' like
Pinball machines
To be ticking off a joy ride to a magical place
Waitin' in line like "truckers welcome" diners
With dirt lots full of
Peterbilts, Kenworths, Jimmy's and the like, and
They're hiballin' with bankrupt brakes, over driven
Under paid, over fed, a day late and a dollar short
But Christ I got my lips around a bottle and
My foot on the throttle and I'm standin' on the corner
Standin' on the corner like a "just in town"
Jasper, on a street corner with a gasper lookin'
For some kind of Cheshire billboard grin
Stroking a goateed chin, and using parking meters
As walking sticks on the inebriated stroll
With my eyelids propped open at half mast
But you know... Over at Chubb's Pool Hall and Snooker
It was a nickle after two, yea it was a nickle after two
And in the cobalt steel blue dream smoke, it
Was the radio that groaned out the hit parade
And the chalk squeaked, the floorboards creaked
And an Olympia sign winked through a torn yellow
Shade, old Jack Chance himself leanin' up against
A Wurlitzer and eyeballin' out a 5 ball combination shot
Impossible you say? ...hard to believe?, perhaps
Out of the realm of possibility? Naaaa
He be stretchin' out long tawny fingers out across a
Cool green felt with a provocative golden gate
And a full table railshot that's no sweat and I leaned
Up against my bannister and wandered over to the
Wurlitzer and I punched A-2 I was lookin' for
Something like Wine, Wine, Wine by the Night Caps
Starring Chuck E. Weiss or High Blood Pressure
By George (cryin' in the streets) Perkins - no dice
"that's life," that's what all the people say ridin' high
In April, seriously shot down in May, but I know i'm
Gonna change that tune when I'm standing underneath
A buttery moon that's all melted off to one side
It was just about that time that the sun
Came crawlin' yellow out of a manhole
At the foot of 23rd Street
And a dracula moon in a black disguise
Was making its way back to its
Pre-paid room at the St. Moritz Hotel (scat)
And the El train came tumbling
Across the trestles and it sounded
Like the ghost of Gene Krupa
With an overhead cam and glasspacks
And the whispering brushes of wet radials
On a wet pavement and there's a
Traffic jam session on Belmont tonight
And the rhapsody of the pending
Evening, I leaned up against
My bannister and i've been looking
For some kind of an emotional
Investment with romantic dividends
Kind of a physical negociation
Is underway
As I attempt to consolidate all my
Missed weekly payments, into
One-low-monthly payment
Through the nose
With romantic residuals and leg akimbo
But the chances are more than likely i'll probably
Be held over for another smashed weekend

Warm Beer and Cold Women

Warm beer and cold women, I just don't fit in
Every joint I stumbled into tonight
That's just how it's been
All these double knit strangers with
Gin and vermouth and recycled stories
In the naugahyde booths

With the platinum blondes
And tobacco brunettes
I'll be drinkin' to forget you
Lite another cigarette
And the band's playin' something
By Tammy Wynette
And the drinks are on me tonight

All my conversations i'll just be
Talkin' about you baby
Borin' some sailor as I try to get through
I just want him to listen
That's all you have to do
He said I'm better off without you
Till I showed him my tattoo

Now the moon's rising
Ain't got no time to lose
Time to get down to drinking
Tell the band to play the blues
Drink's are on me, i'll buy another round
At the last ditch attempt saloon

Warm beer and cold women, I just don't fit in
Every joint I stumbled into tonight
That's just how it's been
All these double knit strangers with
Gin and vermouth and recycled stories
In the naugahyde booths

With the platinum blondes
And tobacco brunettes
I'll be drinking to forget you
Lite another cigarette
And the band's playing somethin'
By Johnnie Barnett
And the drinks are on me tonight

Putnam County

I guess things were always quiet
Around Putnam County
Kind of shy and sleepy as it clung to the skirts
Of the 2-lane, that was stretched out like an
Asphalt dance floor where all the oldtimers would
Hunker down in bib jeans and store bought boots
Lyin' about their lives and the places that they'd been
Suckin' on Coca Colas and be spittin' Days Work
They's be suckin' on Coca Colas
And be spittin' Day's Work
Until the moon was a stray dog on the ridge and
The taverns would be swollen until the naked eye
Of 2am, and the Stratocaster guitars slung over
Burgermeister beer guts, and the swizzle stick legs
Jacknifed over naugahyde stools and the
Witch hazel spread out over the linoleum floors,
The pedal pushers stretched out over midriff bulge
And the coiffed brunette curls over Maybelline eyes
Wearing Prince Machiavelli, Estee Lauder,
Smells so sweet
I elbowed up at the counter with mixed feelings
Over mixed drinks
And Bubba and the Roadmasters moaned in pool hall
Concentration as they knit their brows to
Cover the entire Hank Williams Song Book
And the old National register was singing to the
Tune of $57.57
Until last call, one last game of 8 ball
And Berneice would be putting the chairs on the tables,
Someone come in say "Hey man, anyone got
Any Jumper Cables, is that a 6 or a 12 volt?"
And all the studs in town would toss 'em down
And claim to fame as they stomped their feet
Boasting about being able to get more ass
Than a toilet seat.
And the gmcs and the Straight 8 Fords
Were coughing and wheezing and they
Perculated as they tossed the gravel
Underneath the fenders to weave home
A wet slick anaconda of a two lane
With tire irons and crowbars a rattlin'
With a tool box and a pony saddle
You're grinding gears, shifting into first
Yea and that goddam tranny's just getting worse
With the melodies of "see ya later"
And screwdrivers on carburettors
Talkin' shop about money to loan
And palominos and strawberry roans
See ya tomorrow, hello to the Mrs.
Money to borrow and goodnight kisses
The radio spittin' out Charlie Rich
Sure can sing that sonofabitch
And you weave home, weavin' home
Leaving the little joint winking in the
Dark warm narcotic American night
Beneath a pin cushion sky and it's
Home to toast and honey, start
Up the Ford, your lunch money's there on the
Draining board, toilet's runnin' shake the
Handle, telephone's ringin' it's Mrs Randal
Where the hell are my goddam sandals
And the porcelain poodles and the glass swans
Staring down from the knick knack shelf
With the parent permission slips for the
Kids' field trips
Pair of Muckalucks scraping across
The shag carpet
And the impending squint of
First light, that lurked behind
A weeping marquee in downtown Putnam
And would be pullin' up any minute now
Just like a bastard amber
Velveeta yellow cab on a rainy corner
And be blowin' its horn, in every window
In town.

Spare Parts I (A Nocturnal Emission)

Well the damn cracked hard just like a bull whip
Cause it wasn't takin' no lip from the night before
As it shook out the street, the stew bums showed up
Just like bounced checks, rubbin' their necks
And the sky turned the color of Pepto-Bismol
And the parking lots growled
And my old sports coat full of promissory notes
And a receipt from a late night motel
And the hawk had his whole family out
There in the wind, and he's got a message
For you to beware cause he be kickin' your
Ass in, in a cold blooded fashion
Dishin' out more than a good man can bear
I got shoes untied, shirt tail's out, ain't got a
Ghost of a chance with this old romance
Just an apartment for rent down the block
Ivar Theater with live burlesque
And the manager's scowlin', feet on his desk
Boom boom against the curtain
You're still hurtin'
And then push came to shove, shove came to biff
Girls like that just lay you out stiff
Maybe i'll go to Cleveland or
Get me a tattoo or somethin', my brother
In law's there
Skid mark tattoo on the asphalt blue
Was that a Malibu
Liz Taylor and Montgomery Clift
Cumming on to the broads with the
Same ol' riff. Hey baby come up to
My place, we'll listen to some
Smooth music on the stereo, no thank you
Got any Stan Getz records
No I got Smothers Brothers
So I combed back my Detroit
Jack up my pegs, wiped my Stacy Adams
Jacknifed my legs, yea I got designs
On a moving violation
Hey baby, you put me on hold and i'm
Out in the wind and it's getting
Mighty cold...
Colder than a gut shot bitch wolf dog
With 9 sucking pups pullin' a 4 trap
Up a hill in the dead of winter
In the middle of a snowstorm
With a mouth full of porcupine quills

(scat)

Yea well I don't need you baby
It's a well known fact
I'm 4 sheets to the wind
I'm glad you're gone
I'm glad you're gone
I'm finally alone
Glad you're gone, but I
Wish you'd come home
And I struggled out of bed
Cause the dawn was crackin' hard like a bullwhip
Cause it wasn't takin' no lip from the night before
As it shook out the streets the stew bums
Showed up just like bounced checks
Rubbin' their necks, and the sky turned the
Color of Pepto-Bismol
And my old sports coat full of promissory notes
And the hawk had his whole family out there
In the wind, he got a message for you to beware
Kickin' your ass in, in a cold blooded fashion
He be dishin' out more than a good man can bear
Well hey baby let's take it to Bakersfield
Get a little apartment somewhere

Nobody

Nobody, Nobody
Will ever love you
The way I could love you
Cause nobody is that strong
Love is bitter sweet
And life's treasures deep
But no one can keep
A love that's gone wrong

Nobody, Nobody
Will ever love you
The way I could love you
Cause nobody's that strong
Cause nobody's that strong

Nobody, Nobody
Will ever love you
The way I could love you
Cause nobody is that strong
You've had many lovers
You'll have many others
But they'll only just break
Your poor heart in two

Nobody, Nobody
Will ever love you
The way I could love you
Cause nobody's that strong
Cause nobody's that strong

Big Joe and Phantom 309

Well you see I happened to be back on the east coast
A few years back tryin' to make me a buck
Like everybody else, well you know
Times get hard and well I got down on my luck
And I got tired of just roamin' and bummin'
Around, so I started thumbin' my way
Back to my old hometown
You know I made quite a few miles
In the first couple of days, and I
Figured I'd be home in a week if my
Luck held out this way
But you know it was the third night
I got stranded, it was out at a cold lonely
Crossroads, and as the rain came
Pouring down, I was hungry, tired
Freezin', caught myself a chill, but
It was just about that time that
The lights of an old semi topped the hill
You should of seen me smile when I
Heard them air brakes come on, and
I climbed up in that cab where I
Knew it'd be warm at the wheel
Well at the wheel sat a big man
I'd have to say he must of weighed 210
The way he stuck out a big hand and
Said with a grin "Big Joe's the name
And this here rig's called Phantom 309"
Well I asked him why he called his
Rig such a name, but he just turned to me
And said "Why son don't you know this here
Rig'll be puttin' 'em all to shame, why
There ain't a driver on this
Or any other line for that matter
That's seen nothin' but the taillights of Big Joe
And Phantom 309"
So we rode and talked the better part of the night
And I told my stories and Joe told his and
I smoked up all his Viceroys as we rolled along
He pushed her ahead with 10 forward gears
Man that dashboard was lit like the old
Madam La Rue pinball, a serious semi truck
Until almost mysteriously, well it was the
Lights of a truck stop that rolled into sight
Joe turned to me and said "I'm sorry son
But I'm afraid this is just as far as you go
You see I kinda gotta be makin' a turn
Just up the road a piece," but i'll be
Damned if he didn't throw me a dime as he
Threw her in low and said "Go on in there
Son, and get yourself a hot cup of coffee
On Big Joe"
And when Joe and his rig pulled off into
The night, man in nothing flat they was
Clean outa sight
So I walked into the old stop and
Ordered me up a cup of mud sayin'
"Big Joe's settin' this dude up" but
It got so deathly quiet in that
Place, you could of heard a pin drop
As the waiter's face turned kinda
Pale, I said "What's the matter did
I say somethin' wrong?" I kinda
Said with 8a half way grin. He said
"No son, you see It'll happen every
Now and then. You see every driver in
Here knows Big Joe, but let me
Tell you what happened just 10 years
Ago, yea it was 10 years ago
Out there at that cold lonely crossroads
Where you flagged Joe down, and
There was a whole bus load of kids
And they were just comin' from school
And they were right in the middle when
Joe topped the hill, and could
Have been slaughtered except
Joe turned his wheels, and
He jacknifed, and went
Into a skid, and folks around here
Say he gave his life to save that bunch
Of kids, and out there at that cold
Lonely crossroads, well they say it
Was the end of the line for
Big Joe and Phantom 309, but it's
Funny you know, cause every now and then
Yea every now and then, when the
Moon's holdin' water, they say old Joe
Will stop and give you a ride, and
Just like you, some hitchhiker will be
Comin' by"
"So here son," he said to me, "get
Yourself another cup of coffee, it's on the
House, you see I want you to hang on
To that dime, yea you hang on to that
Dime as a kind of souvenir, a
Souvenir of Big Joe and Phantom 309"

Spare Parts II And Closing

I'd like to thank you all very much for coming this evening. It's really made my night, it would have been real strange here if nobody would have showed up.
I'd like to introduce my group this evening, and uh it's been a real preasure and a, a preasure and a plivilege to work with these gentlemen. I'd like to introduce, please give a warm round of applause for Micheal Melvoin on piano. On saxophone, Pete Christlieb. On bass, Jim Hughart. And on drums, Bill Goodwin. They all come from good families, over the years they just kinda individually developed some ways about them that just aren't right you know.
I was real pleased. I noticed everybody coming in this evening, your all decked out in full regalia and everything and uh, appreciate getting dressed up for an affair such as this. You know it's always something I've tried to be concerned about as possible. And uh, somebody said to me one day, 'Christ Waits, you look so God damn raggerdy, why don't you get yourself something to wear? You know.'
I said, 'Well, not a bad idea.' Maybe a serious seersucker Saturday evening cranberry accoutrement ensemble would be nice. So I went down to Zyder and Zyder, I said I want something to shock. I said, I'm in the kinda in the market in the neighbourhood of something like uh, maybe some green gabardines with ? breeches and a leviticously deteronomous sort of catastrophic lunch box stetson. You know, like some danger hi voltage slacks with a high top ? brush suede ? loafers so I can be passing out wolf tickets regardless of where I go.
Walk into the twenty grand club and the Soul and Inspirations are playing, yeah and your cutting a rug and pulling on the coat and the band is kicking and doing something like a long version of 'Harlem Nocturne' or something. You get designs on a girl in the corner and you say, 'Say baby, you live around here?'
Yeah I think I'm gonna plant you now and I'm gonna dig you later. Make like a bakery truck and haul buns. Make like a hockey player and get the puck outta here. I gotta go see a man about a dog. See you later.
Thank you very much for coming this evening.

Small Change

Tom Traubert's Blues

Wasted and wounded, it ain't what the moon did
Got what I paid for now
See ya tomorrow, hey Frank can I borrow
A couple of bucks from you?
To go waltzing Matilda, waltzing Matilda
You'll go a waltzing Matilda with me

I'm an innocent victim of a blinded alley
And tired of all these soldiers here
No one speaks English and everything's broken
And my Stacys are soaking wet
To go waltzing Matilda, waltzing Matilda
You'll go a waltzing Matilda with me

Now the dogs are barking and the taxi cab's parking
A lot they can do for me
I begged you to stab me, you tore my shirt open
And I'm down on my knees tonight
Old Bushmill's I staggered, you buried the dagger
Your silhouette window light
To go waltzing Matilda, waltzing Matilda
You'll go a waltzing Matilda with me

Now I lost my Saint Christopher now that I've kissed her
And the one-armed bandit knows
And the maverick Chinaman and the cold-blooded signs
And the girls down by the strip-tease shows
Go, waltzing Matilda, waltzing Matilda
You'll go a waltzing Matilda with me

No, I don't want your sympathy
The fugitives say that the streets aren't for dreaming now
Manslaughter dragnets and the ghosts that sell memories
They want a piece of the action anyhow
Go, waltzing Matilda, waltzing Matilda
You'll go a waltzing Matilda with me

And you can ask any sailor and the keys from the jailor
And the old men in wheelchairs know
That Matilda's the defendant, she killed about a hundred
And she follows wherever you may go
Waltzing Matilda, waltzing Matilda
You'll go a waltzing Matilda with me

And it's a battered old suitcase to a hotel someplace
And a wound that will never heal
No prima donna, the perfume is on
An old shirt that is stained with blood and whiskey
And goodnight to the street sweepers
The night watchman flame keepers and goodnight to Matilda too

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We got a year-end clearance, we got a white sale
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Please allow thirty days for delivery, don't be fooled by cheap imitations
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Jitterbug Boy

Well, I'm a jitterbug boy
By the shoe-shine
Resting on my laurels
And my Hardys too
Life of Riley on a swing shift
Gears follow my drift
Once upon a time I was
In show-biz too

I seen the Brooklyn Dodgers
Playin at Ebbets Field
Seen the Kentucky Derby too
It's fast women, slow horses, I'm reliable sources
And I'm holding up a lamp post
If you want to know
I seen the Wabash Cannonball,
Buddy, i've done it all

Beause I slept with the lions
And Marilyn Monroe
Had breakfast in the eye
Of a hurricane
Fought Rocky Marciano,
Played Minnesota Fats
Burned hundred-dollar bills,

I eaten Mulligan stew
Got drunk with Louis Armstrong
What's that old song?
I taught Mickey Mantle
Everything that he knows

And so you ask me
What I'm doing here
Holding up a lamp post
Flippin this quarter,
Trying to make up my mind
And if it's heads i'll go to
Tennessee, and tails i'll buy a drink
If it lands on the edge
I'll keep talking to you

I Wish I Was in New Orleans

Well, I wish I was in New Orleans
I can see it in my dreams
Arm-in-arm down Burgundy
A bottle and my friends and me
Hoist up a few tall cool ones
Play some pool and listen to that
Tenor saxophone calling me home
And I can hear the band begin
"When the Saints Go Marching In"
By the whiskers on my chin
New Orleans, i'll be there

I'll drink you under the table
Be red nose go for walks
The old haunts what I wants
Is red beans and rice
And wear the dress I like so well
And meet me at the old saloon
Make sure there's a Dixie moon
New Orleans, i'll be there

And deal the cards roll the dice
If it ain't that ole Chuck E. Weiss
And Clayborn Avenue me and you
Sam Jones and all
And I wish I was in New Orleans
I can see it in my dreams
Arm-in-arm down Burgundy
A bottle and my friends and me
New Orleans, i'll be there

The Piano Has Been Drinking

The piano has been drinking
My necktie is asleep
And the combo went back to New York
The jukebox has to take a leak
And the carpet needs a haircut
And the spotlight looks like a prison break
Cause the telephone's out of cigarettes
And the balcony's on the make
And the piano has been drinking
The piano has been drinking...

And the menus are all freezing
And the lightman's blind in one eye
And he can't see out of the other
And the piano-tuner's got a hearing aid
And he showed up with his mother
And the piano has been drinking
The piano has been drinking

Cause the bouncer is a Sumo wrestler
Cream puff casper milk toast
And the owner is a mental midget
With the I.Q. of a fencepost
Cause the piano has been drinking
The piano has been drinking...

And you can't find your waitress
With a Geiger counter
And she hates you and your friends
And you just can't get served
Without her
And the box-office is drooling
And the bar stools are on fire
And the newspapers were fooling
And the ash-trays have retired
The piano has been drinking
The piano has been drinking
The piano has been drinking
Not me, not me, not me, not me, not me

Invitation to the Blues

Well she's up against the register
With an apron and a spatula
With yesterday's deliveries,
And the tickets for the bachelors
She's a moving violation
From her conk down to her shoes
But it's just an invitation to the blues

And you feel just like Cagney
Looks like Rita Hayworth
At the counter of the Schwab's drug store
You wonder if she might be single
She's a loner likes to mingle
Got to be patient and pick up a clue

She says howyougonnalikem
Over medium or scrambled
Anyway's the only way
Be careful not to gamble
On a guy with a suitcase
And a ticket gettin out of here
It's a tired bus station
And an old pair of shoes
But it ain't nothing but an
Invitation to the blues

But you can't take your eyes off her
Get another cup of java
And it's just the way she pours it for you
Joking with the customers
And it's mercy mercy Mr. Percy
There ain't nothin back in Jersey
But a broken-down jalopy of a
Man I left behind
And a dream that I was chasin
And a battle with booze
And an open invitation to the blues

But she's had a sugar daddy
And a candy apple Caddy
And a bank account and everything
Accustom to the finer things
He probably left her for a socialite
And he didn't love her 'cept at night
And then he's drunk and never
Even told her that he cared
So they took the registration
And the car-keys and her shoes
And left her with an invitation
To the blues

'Cause there's a Continental Trailways leaving
Local bus tonight, good evening
You can have my seat
I'm stickin round here for a while
Get me a room at the Squire
The filling station's hiring
I can eat here every night
What the hell have I got to lose
Got a crazy sensation,
Go or stay and i've got to choose
And i'll accept your invitation to the blues

Pasties and a G-string

Smelling like a brewery,
Looking like a tramp
I ain't got a quarter
Got a postage stamp
Been five o'clock shadow boxing
All around the town
Talking with the old men
Sleeping on the ground
Bazanti bootin
Al zootin al hoot
And Al Cohn
Sharin this apartment
With a telephone pole
And it's a fish-net stockings
Spike-heel shoes
Strip tease, prick tease
Car kease blues
And the porno floor show
Live nude girls
Dreamy and creamy
And the brunette curls
Chesty Morgan and a
Watermelon Rose
Raise my rent and take off
All your clothes
With the trench coats
Magazines bottle full of rum
She's so good, it make
A dead man cum, with
Pasties and a g-string
Beer and a shot
Portland through a shot glass
And a Buffalo squeeze
Wrinkles and cherry
And twinky and pinky
And fefe live from Gay Paree
Fanfares rim shots
Back stage who cares
All this hot burlesque for me

Cleavage, cleavage thighs and hips
From the nape of her neck
To the lip stick lips
Chopped and channeled
And lowered and louvered
And a cheater slicks
And baby moons
She's hot and ready
And creamy and sugared
And the band is awful
And so are the tunes

Crawlin on her belly shakin like jelly
And I'm getting harder than
Chinese algebraziers and cheers
From the compendium here
Hey sweet heart they're yellin for more
Squashing out your cigarette butts
On the floor
And I like Shelly
You like Jane
What was the girl with the snake skins name
It's an early bird matinee
Come back any day
Getcha little sompin
That cha can't get at home
Getcha little sompin
That cha can't get at home
Pasties and a g-string
Beer and a shot
Portland through a shot glass
And a Buffalo squeeze
Popcorn, front row
Higher than a kite
And i'll be back tomorrow night
And i'll be back tomorrow night

Bad Liver and a Broken Heart

Well I got a bad liver and a broken heart
Yea I drunk me a river since you tore me apart
And I don't have a drinking problem
Cept when I can't get a drink
And I wish you'd a known her
We were quite a pair
She was sharp as a razor
And soft as a prayer
So welcome to the continuing saga
She was my better half
And I was just a dog
And so here am I slumped
I been chippied I been chumped
On my stool
So buy this fool, some spirits and libations
It's these railroad station bars
With all these conductors and the porters
And I'm all out of quarters
And this epitaph is the aftermath
Yea I choose my path
Hey come on Cath, he's a lawyer,
He ain't the one for ya
And no the moon ain't romantic
It's intimidating as hell
And some guy's trying to sell
Me a watch
And so i'll meet you at the
Bottom of a bottle of
Bargain Scotch
I got me a bottle and a dream
It's so maudlin it seems

You can name your poison
Go on ahead and make some noise
I ain't sentimental
This ain't a purchase it's a rental
And it's purgatory, hey
What's your story, well
I don't even care
Cause I got my own double-cross to bear

And i'll see your Red Label
And i'll raise you one more
And you can pour me a cab,
I just can't drink no more
Cause it don't douse the flames
That are started by dames
It ain't like asbestos
It don't do nothing but
Rest us assured
And substantiate the rumors
That you've heard.

The One That Got Away

The jigolo's jumpin salty
Ain't no trade out on the streets
Half past the unlucky
And the hawk's a front-row seat
Dressed in full orquestration
Stage door johnnys got to pay
And sent him home
Talking bout the one that got away

Could a been on easy street
Could a been a wheel
With irons in the fire
And all them business deals
But the last of the big-time losers
Shouted before he drove away
I'll be right back as soon as I crack
The one that got away

The ambulance drivers don't give a shit
They just want to get off work
And the short stop and the victim
Have already gone berserk
And the shroud-tailor measures him
For a deep-six holiday
The stiff is froze, the case is closed
On the one that got away

Jim Crow's directing traffic
With them cemetery blues
With them peculiar looking trousers
Them old Italian shoes
The wooden kimona was all ready
To drop in San Francisco Bay
But now he's mumbling something
All about the one that got away

Costello was the champion
At the St. Moritz Hotel
And the best this side of Fairfax,
Reliable sources tell
But his reputation is at large
And he's at Ben Frank's every day
Waiting for the one that got away

He's got a snake skin sportshirt,
And he looks like Vincent Price
With a little piece of chicken
And he's carving off a slice
But someone tipped her off
She'll be doing a Houdini now any day
She shook his hustle
And a Greyhound bus'll
Take the one that got away

Andre is at the piano
Behind the Ivar in the sewers
With a buck a shot for pop tunes,
And a fin for guided tours
He could of been in Casablanca
He stood in line out there all day
But now he's spilling whiskey
And learning songs about a one that got away

Well i've lost my equilibrium
My car keys and my pride
Tattoo parlor's warm
And so I huddle there inside
The grinding of the buzz saw
Whatchuwanthathingtosay
Just don't misspell her name
Buddy she's the one that got away

Small Change
(Got Rained on with His Own .38)

Well small change got rained on with his own .38
And nobody flinched down by the arcade
And the marquise weren't weeping
They went stark-raving mad
And the cabbies were the only ones
That really had it made
And his cold trousers were twisted,
And the sirens high and shrill
And crumpled in his fist was a five-dollar bill
And the naked mannikins with their
Cheshire grins
And the raconteurs
And roustabouts said buddy
Come on in
Cause the dreams ain't broken down here now
Now ...they're walking with a limp
Now that

Small change got rained on with his own .38
And nobody flinched down by the arcade
And the burglar alarm's been disconnected
And the newsmen start to rattle
And the cops are tellin' jokes
About some whore house in Seattle
And the fire hydrants plead the 5th Amendment
And the furniture's bargains galore
But the blood is by the jukebox
On an old linoleum floor
And it's a hot rain on 42nd Street
And now the umbrellas ain't got a chance
And the newsboy's a lunatic
With stains on his pants cause

Small change got rained on with his own .38
And no one's gone over to close his eyes
And there's a racing form in his pocket
Circled "Blue Boots" in the 3rd
And the cashier at the clothing store
He didn't say a word as the
Siren tears the night in half
And someone lost his wallet
Well it's surveillance of assailants
If that's whatchawannacallit
And the whores hike up their skirts
And fish for drug-store prophylactics
With their mouths cut just like
Razor blades and their eyes are like stilettos
And her radiator's steaming
And her teeth are in a wreck
Now she won't let you kiss her
But what the hell do you expect
And the Gypsies are tragic and if you
Wanna to buy perfume, well
They'll bark you down like
Carneys... Sell you Christmas cards in June
But...

Small change got rained on with his own .38
And his headstone's
A gumball machine
No more chewing gum
Or baseball cards or
Overcoats or dreams and
Someone is hosing down the sidewalk
And he's only in his teens

Small change got rained on with his own .38
And a fistful of dollars can't change that
And someone copped his watch fob
And someone got his ring
And the newsboy got his porkpie Stetson hat
And the tuberculosis old men
At the Nelson wheeze and cough
And someone will head south
Until this whole thing cools off cause
Small change got rained on with his own .38
Yea small change got rained on with his own .38

I Can't Wait to Get Off Work
(And See My Baby on Montgomery Avenue)

Well I don't mind working
Cause I used to be jerkin off
Most of my time in the bars
I been a cabbie and a stock clerk
And a soda fountain jock jerk
And a manic mechanic on cars
It's nice work if you can get it
Now who the hell said it
I got money to spend on my gal
But the work never stops
And i'll be busting my chops
Working for Joe and Sal.

And I can't wait to get off work
And see my baby
She said she'd leave the porch lite
On for me
I'm disheveled I'm disdainful
And I'm distracted and it's painful
But this job sweeping up here is
Is gainfully employing me tonight

Tom do this Tom do that
Tom, don't do that
Count the cash, clean the oven
Dump the trash oh your lovin
Is a rare and a copasetic gift
And I'm a moonlight watchmanic
It's hard to be romantic
Sweeping up over by the cigarette machine
Sweeping up over by the cigarette machine...

I can't wait to get off work
And see my baby
She'll be waiting up with a magazine for me
Clean the bathrooms, clean um good
Oh your lovin I wish you would
Come down here and sweepameoffmyfeet
This broom'll have to be my baby
If I hurry, I just might
Get off before the dawns early light.

Foreign Affairs

Muriel

Muriel since you left town the clubs closed down
And there's one more burned out lamppost down on the main street
Down where we used to stroll
And muriel i still hit all the same old haunts
And you follow me wherever i go
And muriel i see you on a saturday night
In a penny arcade with your hair tied back
And the diamond twinkle in your eye
Is the only wedding ring i'll buy you
Muriel
And muriel how many times i've left this town
To hide from your memory
And it haunts me
But i only get as far as the next whiskey bar
I buy another cheap cigar and i'll see you every night
Hey muriel muriel
Hey buddy got a light

I Never Talk To Strangers

Stop me if you've heard this one
I feel as though we've met before
Perhaps i'm mistaken
But it's just that i remind you
Of someone you used to care about
But that was long ago
Do you think i'd fall for that
I wasn't born yesterday
Besides i never talk to strangers anyway
I ain't a bad guy when you get to know me
I just thought there ain't no harm
Hey just try minding your own business
Bud who asked you to annoy me
With your sad repartee
Besides i never talk to strangers anyway

Your life's a dimestore novel
This town is full of guys like you
And you're looking for someone to take the place of her
And you're bitter cause he left you
That's why you're drinkin in this bar
Well only suckers fall in love
With perfect strangers

It always takes one to know one stranger
Maybe we're just wiser now
And been around the block so many times
That we don't notice
That we're all just perfect strangers
As long as we ignore
That we all begin as strangers
Just before we find
We really aren't strangers anymore

Jack & Neal/California, Here I Come

Jack was sittin poker faced with bullets backed with bitches
Neal hunched at the wheel puttin everyone in stitches
Braggin bout this nurse he screwed while drivin through nebraska
And when she came she honked the horn and neal just barely missed a
Truck and then he asked her if she'd like to come like that to californy
See a red head in a uniform will always get you horny
With her hairnet and those white shoes and a name tag and a hat
She drove like andy granatelli and knew how to fix a flat
And jack was almost at the bottom of his md 2020 neal was yellin
Out the window tryin to buy some bennies from a lincoln
Full of mexicans whose left rear tire blowed and the sonsobitches
Prit near almost ran off the road

Well the nurse had spilled the manoshevitz all up and down her dress
Then she lit the map on fire neal just had to guess
Should we try and find a bootleg route or a fillin station open
The nurse was dumpin out her purse lookin for an envelope and
Jack was out of cigarettes we crossed the yellow line
The gas pumps looked like tombstones from here
Felt lonelier than a parking lot when the last car pulls away
And the moonlight dressed the double breasted foothills
In the mirror weaving outa negligee and a black brassiere
The mercury was runnin hot and almost out of gas
Just then florence nightingale dropped her drawers and
Stuck her fat ass half way out of the window with a
Wilson pickett tune
And shouted get a load of this and gave the finger to the moon

Countin one eyed jacks and whistling dixie in the car
Neal was doin least a hundred when we saw a fallin star
Florence wished that neal would hold her stead of chewin
His cigar jack was noddin out and dreamin he was in a bar
With charlie parker on the bandstand not a worry in the world
And a glass of beer in one hand and his arm around a girl
And neal was singin to the nurse
Underneath a harlem moon
And somehow you could just tell we'd be in california soon

A Sight For Sore Eyes

Hey sight for sore eyes it's a long time no see
Workin hard hardly workin hey man you know me
Water under the bridge didya see my new car
Well it's bought and it's payed for parked outside of the bar
And hey barkeeper what's keepin you keep pourin drinks
For all these palookas hey you know what i thinks
That we toast to the old days and dimagio too
And old drysdale and mantle whitey ford and to you

No the old gang ain't around everyone has left town
'Cept for thumm and giardina said they just might be down
Oh half drunk all the time and i'm all drunk the rest
Yea monk's till the champion but i'm the best

I guess you heard about nash he was killed in a crash
Hell that must of been two or three years ago now
Yea he spun out and he rolled he hit a telephone pole
And he died with the radio on
No she's married and with a kid finally split up with sid
He's up north for a nickle's worth for armed robbery

Hey i'll play you some pin ball hell you ain't got a chance
Well then go on over and ask her to dance

Potter's Field

Well you can buy me a drink and i'll tell you what i seen
And i'll give you a bargain from the edge of a maniac's dream
That buys a black widow spider with a riddle in his yarn
That's clinging to the furrow of a blindman's brow
I'll start talking from the brim of a thimble full of whiskey
On a train through the bronx that will take you just as far
As the empty of a bottle to the highway of a scar
That stretched across the blacktop of my cheek like that
And then ducks beneath the brim of a fugitive's hat
And you'll learn why liquor makes a stool pigeon rat on every face
That ever left his shadow down on saint marks place
Hell i'd double cross my mother if it was whiskey that they payed
And so an early bird says nightsticks on the hit parade
And he ain't got a prayer and his days are numbered
And you'll track him down like a dog
Well it's a tough customer you're getting in this trade
Cause the nightstick's heart pumps lemonade
Well whiskey keeps a blindman talkin alright
And i'm the only one who knows just where he stayed last night

He was in a wreckin yard in a switchblade storm
In a wheelbarrow with nothing but revenge to keep him warm
And a half a million dollars in unmarked bills
Was the nightstick's blanket in a febuary chill
And as the buzzard drove a crooked sky
He was dealin high chicago in the mud
And stackin' the deck against a dragnet's eye
A shivering nightstick in a miserable heap
With the siren for a lullaby singing him to sleep
He was bleeding from a buttonhole
Torn by a slug fired from the barrel of a two dollar gun
That scorched a blister on the grip of a punk by now
Is learnin what you have to pay to be a hero anyhow

He dressed the hole in his gut with a hundred dollar bandage
A king's ransom for a bedspread that don't amount to nuttin
Just cobweb strings on a busted ukulele
And the nightstick leaned on a black shillelagh
With the poison of a junkie's broken promise on his lip

He staggered in the shadows screaming i ain't never been afraid
And he shot out every street light on the promenade
Past the frozen ham and eggers at the penny arcade
Throwin out handfuls of a blood stained salary
They were dead in their tracks at the shootin gallery
And they fired off a twenty one gun salute
And from the corner of his eye he caught the alabaster orbs
And from a dime a dance hall girl and stuffed a thousand dollar bill
In her blouse and caught the cruel and unusual punishment of her smile
And the nightstick winked beneath a rainsoaked brim
Ain't no one seen hide nor hair of him see
No one but a spade on rikers island and me
And so if you're mad enough to listen to a full of whiskey blindman
Then you're mad enough to look beyond where bloodhounds dare to go
So if you want to know just where the nightstick's hidin out
You be down at the ferry landin oh let's say bout half past a nightmare
When it's twisted on a clock you tell 'em nickels sentcha
Whiskey always makes him talk
And you ask for captain charon with the mud on his kicks
He's the skipper of the deadline steamer
And she sails from the bronx across the river styx
And a riddle's just a ticket for a dreamer

Cause when the weathervane's sleepin and the moon turns his back
You crawl on your belly long the railroad tracks
And cross your heart and hope to die and stick a needle in your eye
Cause he'd cut my bleedin heart out if he found out that i squealed
Cause you see a scarecrow's just a hoodlum
Who marked the cards that he dealed
And pulled a gypsy switch
Out on the edge of potter's field

Burma Shave

Licorice tattoo turned a gun metal blue scrawled across the shoulders
Of a dying town the one eyed jacks across the railroad tracks
And the scar on its belly pulled a stranger passing through
He was a juvenile delinquent never learned how to behave
But the cops would never think to look in
Burma shave
And the road was like a ribbon and the moon was like a bone
He didn't seem to be like any guy she'd ever known
He kinda looked like farley granger with his hair slicked back
She says i'm a sucker for a fella in a cowboy hat
How far are you going he said depends on what you mean
He says i'm going thataway just as long as it's paved
I guess you'd say i'm on my way to
Burma shave

And her knees up on the glove compartment
Took out her barrettes and her hair spilled out like rootbeer
And she popped her gum and arched her back
Hell marysville ain't nothing but a wide spot in the road
Some night my heart pounds just like thunder
I don't know why it don't explode
Cause everyone in this stinking town has got one foot in the grave
And i'd rather take my chances out in
Burma shave

Presley's what i go by why don't you change the station
Count the grain elevators in the rearview mirror
Mister anywhere you point this thing
Has got to beat the hell out of the sting
Of going to bed with every dream that dies here every mornin
And so drill me a hole with a barber pole
I'm jumping my parole just like a fugitive tonight
Why don't you have another swig
And pass that car if you're so brave
I wanna get there before the sun comes up in
Burma shave

And the spider web crack and the mustang screamed
Smoke from the tires and the twisted machine
Just a nickel's worth of dreams and every wishbone that they saved
Lie swindled from them on the way to
Burma shave

And the sun hit the derrick and cast a bat wing shadow
Up against the car door on the shot gun side
And when they pulled her from the wreck you know she
Still had on her shades
They say that dreams are growing wild just this side of
Burma shave

Barber Shop

Good mornin mr. Snip snip snip witchur haircut jus as short as mine
Bay rum lucky tiger butch wax cracker jacks shoe shine jaw breaker
Magazine racks hangin round the barber shop a side burnin close crop
Mornin mr. Furgeson what's the good word witcha been
Stayin outa trouble like a good boy should i see you're still cuttin hair
Well i'm still cuttin classes i just couldn't hep myself
I got a couple of passes to the ringle bros. Barn bail circus afternoon
I see you lost a little round the middle and your lookin reel good
Sittin on the wagon stead of under the hood
What's the low down mr. Brown heard you boy's leavin town
I just bought myself a struggle buggy suckers powder blue
Throw me over sports page cincinnati's lookin' good
Always been for pittsburgh lay you 10 to 1
That the pirates get the pennant and the series for their done
You know the hair's gettin longer and the skirts gettin shorter
You can get a cheaper haircut if you wanna cross the border
Now if your mama saw you smokin why she'd kick your ass
Put it out you little juvenile and put it out fast
Oh if i had a million dollars well what would i do
Probly be a barber not a bum like you
Still gotchur paper route now that's just fine
Now you can pay me double cause you gypped me last time
You be keepin little circus money and spend it on a girl
Know i give the best haircuts in the whole wide world

Foreign Affair

When travelling abroad in the continental style
It's my belief one must attempt to be discreet
And subsequently bear in mind your transient position
Allows you a perspective that's unique
Though you'll find your itinerary's a blessing and a curse
Your wanderlust won't let you settle down
And you'll wonder how you ever fathomed that you'd be content
To stay within the city limits of a small midwestern town
Most vagabonds i knowed don't ever want to find the culprit
That remains the object of their long relentless quest
The obsession's in the chasing and not the apprehending
The pursuit you see and never the arrest
Without fear of contradiction bon voyage is always hollered
In conjunction with a handkerchief from shore
By a girl that drives a rambler and furthermore
Is overly concerned that she won't see him anymore
Planes and trains and boats and buses
Characteristically evoke a common attitude of blue
Unless you have a suitcase and a ticket and a passport
And the cargo that they're carrying is you
A foreign affair juxtaposed with a stateside
And domestically approved romantic fancy
Is mysteriously attractive due to circumstances knowing
It will only be parlayed into a memory

Blue valentine

Somewhere

( From west side story / Leonard Bernstein & Stephen Sondheim )

There's a place for us
Somewhere a place for us
Peace and quiet and open air
Wait for us
Somewhere
There's a time for us
Someday a time for us
Time together with time to spare
Time to learn
Time to care
Someday, somewhere
We'll find a new way of living
We'll find a way of forgiving
Somewhere
There's a place for us
A time and a place for us
Hold my hand and we're half way there
Hold my hand
And i'll take you there
Somehow
Someday, somewhere

Red shoes by the drugstore

She wore red shoes by the drugstore
As the rain splashed the nickel
Spilled like chablis along the midway
Theres a little bluejay
In a red dress, on a sad night

One straw in a rootbeer
A compact with a cracked mirror
And a bottle of evening in paris perfume

He told her to wait in by the magazines
He had to take care of some buisness it seems
Bring a raincoat and a suitcase
And your dark eyes
And wear those red shoes

Theres a dark huddle at the bus stop
Umbrellas arranged in a sad bouquet
Li'l cesaer got caught
He was going down to second
He was cooled
Changing stations on the chamber
To steal a diamond
From a jewelry store for his baby
He loved the way she looked in those red shoes

She waited by the drugstore
Cesaer had never been this late before
And the dogs bayed the moon
And rattled their chains
And the cold jingle of taps in a puddle
Was the burglar alarm
Snitchin on ceasar

Now the rain washes memories from the sidewalks
And the hounds splash down the nickel
Full of soldiers
And santa claus is drunk in the ski room
And it's christmas eve in a sad cafe
When the moon gets this way
There's a little blue jay
By the newstand
Wearing red shoes

So meet me tonight by the drugstore
We're goin out tonight
Wear your red shoes

Christmas card from a hooker in minneapolis

Hey charlie i'm pregnant
And living on the 9th street
Right above a dirty bookstore
Off euclid avenue
And i stopped takin dope
And i quit drinkin whiskey
And my old man plays the trombone
And works out at the track

And he says that he loves me
Even though its not his baby
And he says that he'll raise him up
Like he would his own son
And he gave me a ring
That was worn by his mother
And he takes me out dancin
Every saturday night.

And hey charlie i think about you
Everytime i pass a fillin station
Om account of all the grease
You used to wear in your hair
And i still have that record
Of little anthony & the imperials
But someone stole my record player
Now how do you like that?

Hey charlie i almost went crazy
After mario got busted
So i went back to omaha to
Live with my folks
But everyone i used to know
Was either dead or in prison
So i came back to minneapolis
This time i think i'm gonna stay.

Hey charlie i think i'm happy
For the first time since my accident
And i wish i had all the money
That we used to spend on dope
I'd buy me a used car lot
And i wouldn't sell any of em
I'd just drive a different car
Every day, dependin on how
I feel

Hey charlie for chrissakes
Do you want to know the
Truth of it?
I don't have a husband
He don't play the trombone
And i need to borrow money
To pay this lawyer
And charlie, hey
I'll be eligible for parole
Come valentines day

Romeo is bleeding

Romeo is bleeding but not so as you'd notice
He's over on 18th street as usual
Looking so hatd against the hood of his car
Ans putting out a cigarette in his hand
And for all the pachucos at the pumps
At romeros paint and body
They all seein how far they can spit
Well it was just another night
But now they're huddled in the brake lights of a 58 belair
And listenin how romeo killed a sherif with his knife

And they all jump when they hear the sirens
But romeo just laughs and says
All the racket in the world ain't never gonna
Save that coppers ass
He'll never see another summertime
For gunnin down my brother
And leavin him like a dog
Beneath a car without his knife

And romeo says hey man gimme a cigatette
And they all reach for their pack
And frankie lights it for him and pats him on the back
And throws a bottle at a milk truck
And as it breaks he grabs his nuts
And they all know they could ve just like romeo
If they only had the guts

But romeo is bleeding but nobody can tell
Amd he sings along with the radio
With a bullet in his chest
And he combs back his fenders
And they all agree its clear
That everything is cool now that romeos here
But romeo is bleeding
And he winches now and then and he leans against
The car door and feels the blood in his shoes
And someones crying in the phone booth
At the 5 points by the store
Romeo starts his engine
And wipes the blood of the door
And he brodys through the signal
With the radio full blast
Leavin the boys there hikin up their chinos
And they all try to stand like romeo
Beneath the moon cut like a sickle
And they're talkin now in spanish about their hero

But romeo is bleeding as he gives the man his ticket
And he climbs to the balcony at the movies
And he'll die without a whimper
Like every heros dream
Just an angel with a bullet
And cagney in the screen

$29.00

Little black girl, red dress
Hot night with a broken shoe
Little black girl you shoulda never left home
There's probably someone thats still waitin' up for you
It's cold back in Chicago
Los Angles street is worse
All you got is $29.00, an alligator purse

I see that vulture in the fleetwood
With the startruse hood
Can see you're trying to get you bearing
You say "hey babe, which ways the main stem"
Wherever you say you're from
He'll say he grew up there himself

He'll come on and make you feel
Like you grew up right next door to him
Take a left on central
Gonna throw it in reverse
All you got $29.00, an alligator purse

He'll come on like just a gentleman
You'll be a little shy
You say you ex old man was a sax player
he'll says "Baby, I used to play bass for sly"
You say you like his Cadillac, say honey, I got two or three
Sweetheart you're sure fortunate
That you ran into me
Done a dime in the joint
Nothin' could be worse
$29.00, alligator purse

Pharoh on eight track
Start smokin' a little boo
You thinkin' gettin' out of Chicago was just about the
Best thing that ever happend to you
startin' to like it already
This cat seems to be cool
Babe I know a good hotel out in west hollywood
Be just right for you
Hhe ain't know good samaritan
He gonna make sure he's reimursed
Lot more than $29.00, an alligator purse

Now when the streets get hungry baby
Almost hear them growl
Someone setting a place for you
When the dogs begin to howl
The street are dim
They creep and and get what's left on the bone
Remember suckers always make mistakes
Far Away from home
And Chicken in the pot
Whoever gets there first
Gonna get themselves $29.00, alligator purse

Now the sirens just an epilog
Cops here always get there too late
Always stop for coffee on the way to the scene of the crime
They always try so hard just like movie stars
But they couldnt catch a cold
Baby don't waste your dime
She's lucky to be alive
The doctor whispered to the nurse
She only lost a half a pint of blood
$29.00, an alligator purse

Wrong side of the road

Put a dead cat on the railroad tracks
When the wolf bains blooming by the tressel
And get the eyeball of a rooster
And the stones from a ditch
And wash em down with bilge water
And you say you'll never snitch
Take the buttons from a yellow jacket
The feafrom a buzzard
And thr blood from a bounty hunters cold black heart
Catch the tears of a widow
In a thimble made of glass
Tell your mama and papa
They can kick your ass
Poison all the water in the wishin well
And hang all them scarecrows from a sycamore tree
Burn down all those honeymoons
Put em in a pillow case
And wait next to the switch blades
At the amusement park for me
Strangle all the christmas carols
Scratch out all your prayers
Tie em up with barbed wire
And push them down the stairs
And i'll whittle you a pistol
For keeping nightmares of the blinds
Those sunabitches always seem to sneake up from behind
Syphon all the gas from your daddys pickup truck
Fill up johnnys t bird
I got a couple of bucks
Put a little perfume and ribbon in your hair
Careful that you don't wake up the hounds
Tear a bolt of lightning
Of the side of the sky
And throw it in the cedar chest
If you want to tell me why
Bring the gear shift knob from a 49 merc
And lay down here beside me
Let me hold you in the dirt
And you'll tremble as the flames
Tear the throat out of the night
Sink your teeth into my shoulder
Dig your nails into my back
Tell that little girl to let go of my sleeve
You'll be a woman when i catch you
As you fall in love with me
Then with my double barrel shotgun
And a whole box of shells
We'll celebrate the 4 of july
We'll do 100 mph
Spendin someone elses dough
And we'll drive all the way to reno
On the wrong side of the road

Whistlin' past the graveyard

I come in on a night train
With an arm full of box cars
On the wings of a magpie
Cross a hooligan night
I busted up a chifforobe
Way out by the cocomo
Cooked up a mess a mulligan
and got into a fight

Whistlin' past the graveyard
Steppin' on a crack
A mean motherhubbard Papa one eyed jack

You probably seen me sleepin'
Out by the railroad tracks
Go on and ask the prince of darkness
What about all that smoke
Come from the stack
Sometimes I kill myself a jackel
Suck out all the blood
Steal myself a stationwagon
Drivin' through the mud

I want to Whistlin' past the graveyard
Steppin' on a crack
I'm mean motherhubbard Papa one eyed jack

I know you seen my headlights
And the honkin' of my horn
I'm callin' out my bloodhounds
Chase the devil through the corn
Last night I chugged the mississippi
Now that suckers dry as a bone
I'm Born in a taxi cab
I'm never comin' home

Whistlin' past the graveyard
Steppin' on a crack
I'm mean motherhubbard papa one eyed jack

My eyes have seen the glory
Of the drainin' of the ditch
I only come to baton rouge
To find myself a witch
I'm-ona snatch me up a
Couple of em every time it rains
You see a locomotive
Probably thinkin' its a train

Whistlin' past the graveyard
Steppin' on a crack
I'm a mean motherhubbard papa one eyed jack

What you think is the sunshine
Is just a twinkle in my eye
That ring around my finger
Called the 4th of july
When I get a little bit lonesome
And a tear falls from my check
There's gonna be an ocean in
The middle of the week

Whistlin' past the graveyard
steppin' on a crack
I'm mean motherhubbard Papa one eyed jack

I come into town on a night train
Arm full of box cars
On the wings of a magpie
Cross a hooligan night
I'm gona tear me off a rainbow
And wear it for a tie
I never told the truth
So I can never tell a lie

Whistlin' past the graveyard
steppin' on a crack
A mean motherhubbard Papa one eyed jack

Kentucky avenue

Eddie Graces Buick got 4 bullet holes in the side
Charley Delisle sittin' at the top of an avacado tree
Mrs Storm'll stab you with a steak knife if you step on her lawn
I got a half pack of lucky strikes man so come along with me
Lets fill our pockets with macadamia nuts
Then go ever to Bobby Goodmansons
And jump off the roof

Hilda plays strip poker
And her mamas across the street
Joey Navinsky says she put her tongue in his mouth
Dicky Faulkners got a switchblade
And some gooseneck risers
That eucalyptus is a hunchback
There's a wind up from the south
So let me tie you up with kite string
I'll show you the scabs on my knee
Watch out for the broken glass, put your shoes and socks
on and come along with me

Lets follow that fire truck
I think your house is burning down
Then go down to the hobo jungle and kill some rattle
Snakes with a trowel
We'll break all the windows in the ol' Anderson place
and steal a bunch of boysenberrys
And swear 'em on our face
I'll get a dollar from my mamas purse
Buy that scull and crossbones ring
And you can wear it round your neck on an old piece of string

Then we'll spit on Ronnie Arnold
Flip him the bird
Slash the tires on the school bus
Now don't say a word
I'll take a rusty nail and scratch your initials in my arm
And I'll show you how to sneak up on the roof of the drugstore

I'll Take the spokes from your wheelchair
And a magpies wings
And I'll tie em to your shoulders and your feet
I'll steal a hacksaw from my dad
Cut the braces off your legs
And we'll bury them tonight out in the cornfield

Just put a church key in your pocket
We'll hop that freight train in the hall
We'll slide all the way down the drain
To new orleans in the fall

A sweet little bullet from a pretty blue gun

It's raining it's pouring
And you didn't bring a sweater
Nebraska will never let you come back home
And on hollywood and wine
By the thrifty mart sign
Any night i'll be willin to bet
There's a young girl
With sweet little wishes
And pretty blue dreams
Standin there and gettin all wet

Now there's a place off the drag
Called the gilbert hotel
There's a couple letters burned out in the sign
And it's better than a bus stop
And they do good buisness
Every time it rains
For sweet little girls
With nothing in their jeans
But sweet little wishes
And pretty blue dreams

Now it's raining it's pouring
The old mam is snoring
Now i lay me down to sleep
I hear the sirens in the street
All the dreams are made of chrome
I have no way to get back home
I'd rather die before i wake
Like marilyn monroe
And throw my jeans out in
The street and the rain will make 'em grow

Now the night clerk he got a club foot
And he's heard every hard luck story
At least a hundred times or more
He says check out time is 10 am
And that's just what he means
And you go up the stairs
With sweet little wishes
And pretty blue dreams

Now it's raining it's pouring
And hollywods just fine
Swindle a little out of her dreams
Put a letter in the sign
Never trust a scarecrow
Wearin' shades after dark
Be careful of that old bow tie he wears
It takes a sweet little bullet
From a pretty blue gun
To put those scarlet ribbons in your hair
No that ain't no cherry bomb
4th of july's all done
Just some fool playin' that second line
From the barrel of a pretty blue gun

No that ain't no cherry bomb
4th of july's all done
Just some fool playin' that second line
From the barrel of a pretty blue gun

Blue valentines

She sends me blue valentines
All the way from philadelphia
To mark the anniversary
Of someone that i used to be
And it feels just like theres
A warrant out for my arrest
Got me checkin in my rearview mirror
And i'm always on the run
Thats why i changed my name
And i didn't think you'd ever find me here

To send me blue valentines
Like half forgotten dreams
Like a pebble in my shoe
As i walk these streets
And the ghost of your memory
Is the thistle in the kiss
And the burgler that can break a roses neck
It's the tatooed broken promise
That i hide beneath my sleeve
And i see you every time i turn my back

She sends me blue valentines
Though i try to remain at large
They're insisting that our love
Must have a eulogy
Why do i save all of this madness
In the nightstand drawer
There to haunt upon my shoulders
Baby i know
I'd be luckier to walk around everywhere i go
With a blind